Chickpeas, Please.

Review of a Food You Can Buy at Trader Joe's: Chili Spiced Mangos

2012-02-02T10:45:00.005-05:00

Initially, I set out to review the lemon heart cookies. Because it's February, and they're cute, and there's a picture of my spirit animal Alice in Wonderland on the bag.

Forget that, they're not that good. Have you had the chili spiced dried mango slices? Let me just wipe off all of the orange chili powder from my fingers so I can write about how you should go buy some right now.

They have a quick, front-of-the-mouth burn, with a hit of smokiness. For me at least, it never crosses the line into unpleasantly spicy. It stays comfortably at the top end of my happy spicy range. And what's not to love about dried mango slices? These are of the plump/juicy variety, not all leathery like lesser dried mango slices. Those are gross.

I like them as an at-my-desk snack right around the time of my daily 3pm blood sugar I-hate-everything crash. The chili provides a great kick, wakes you right up out of your afternoon slump. Soon you'll be filing TPS reports like a boss.

Who Needs Martha?

2012-01-23T11:21:00.007-05:00

I'm trying out a new thing. If there's something I want to do, and I'm feeling a little unsure, I just sign myself up to do it and I work out the details later. That's how I ended up hosting Soup Cinema #2. It's a fun and pretty self-explanatory project my friends TJ and Julie put together. Someone hosts and makes soup, someone brings a movie. As the newly minted owner of a 32” merry-Christmas-to-myself flat panel and with no actual DVD or Blu-ray player, I volunteered to host and figured I’d get it all worked out in time.

Also, I should mention, I have a Type A tendency to want everything to go perfectly when I host a party. How Type A am I? When I was seven I typed out a set of rules for my playroom on my little typewriter and posted them on the door. I hate to say that I haven’t made a lot of progress since then, especially when it comes to hostessing. I want to be Martha. Everything should be in its place, everything should look effortless. For every stray hors d’oeuvre toothpick there is a ready and waiting trash can; for every thirsty guest there is a clean piece of stemware and a wine chilled to the appropriate temperature.

Yeah right. What actually happens is I whip myself into a frenzy before party time. There’s never enough time, never enough clean knives. I exhaust my supply of cutting boards making just one pot of soup. There is shouting - at cookware, myself, a pet, a neighbor’s pet, anything close by. This time around, Jeff came early to lend a hand and he bore the brunt of my pre-party insanity. He bravely leapt into action, arranging carrots and celery, hauling my recycling to the trash room. TJ arrived soon after and supplied chairs, pillows and blankets, and of course, the movie.

Soup-wise, I made a ridiculously simple sweet potato chili. It's straightforward until you get to the very end and add a little orange peel. A little sweet-spicy, one-two combo. I like to serve it with sour cream to prevent it from seeming too healthy.

If you can, I encourage you to have a neighbor like my neighbor Chris. He arrived with homemade cookies and then made multiple trips back upstairs to get a power strip, extra spoons, crackers and more chairs. Julie brought a loaf of bread across state lines for the occasion. TJ came through in a big way with the movie, introducing it first with a multimedia presentation and finally presenting Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil as our feature.

As movie and soup nights go, I think this one was first-rate. You should watch Tucker and Dale if you like parody comedies and the whole Evil Dead thing. My still-newish apartment was filled with friendly faces. People were fed, laughs were had, and then we all went to the bar afterwards. I didn’t pull off a Martha-esque feat here, this was a collaboration. And isn't that more fun?

Review of a Food You Can Buy at Trader Joe's: Chewy Egg Nog Cookies

2011-12-14T10:54:00.006-05:00

This time of year the little nutmeg shaker lives on my counter. I don't bother putting it away and getting it out again night after night. What a waste. In fact, I leave it right next to a bottle of rum, just so the two don't get lonely.

It's egg nog season. Try and describe egg nog to someone. It's hard to find any other adjective to describe it except that it's "noggy." And "creamy." And if you're doing it right, "boozy."

Trader Joe's is selling egg nog in cookie form. They're about the size of a Nilla Wafer (oh God I JUST NOW realize Nilla was short for 'vanilla'. The lie I have been living.) but they're soft with a drizzle of icing.

Not surprisingly, they taste noggy. There's a hint of spices, maybe some of that nutmeg, and the icing melts fast under your fingertips. I find it hard to eat less than five in one session. And that's okay, because they're tiny, and noggy, and it's the season, right?

Will the Real English Muffin Please Stand Up?

2011-12-05T19:05:00.016-05:00

Like me, you probably grew up knowing an English Muffin as a small, bread-like substance with no observable similarities to an actual muffin. It's sold in a little rectangular box of six. It might have chewy little raisins, and if your mother was like mine and you were only ever allowed the low fat Pop Tarts, it might be whole wheat.

We've been lied to. Those things in the box at the grocery store? They aren't English Muffins. They're the bread cousin of hockey pucks. If you want to experience a real English Muffin, you're going to have to pay a visit to Blue Oven bakery. Even after they sell out of every other kind of glorious bread they haul to Findlay Market on a given Saturday morning, they're bound to have their English Muffins on hand.

The Slim Shady of English Muffins.

When you bring your muffin home and take it out of the bag, you'll think to yourself, "This can't possibly be an English Muffin. It looks too delicious and smells kind of like a donut." Stop wasting time asking questions, find your serrated knife, cut it in half and get it into your toaster pronto.

You will know your Blue Oven English Muffin is almost ready when it starts to sizzle. Ideally, you'll pull it out just before it catches on fire. Unless you have a very robust toaster, it won't actually "pop" when it's done because the muffin halves are too heavy. Yeah.

Remove your muffin and apply toppings. I'm partial to jam on one half and a fried egg on the other. It's crucial that the yolk soaks into the muffin properly, spilling through the internal nooks like rushing subterranean rivers.

It has a richness and mild sweetness and little pathways and tunnels running through it. It's dense and soft enough to soak up egg yolk, with a nice crust and crunch on the exterior. This, my friends, is an English Muffin worthy of its name.

Review of a Food You Can Buy at Trader Joe's: Candy Cane Joe Joes

2011-11-23T07:51:00.003-05:00

When I'm ready to pay and leave Trader Joe's, I don't choose my lane based on the apparent speed and efficiency of the checkout clerk. I pick the one with the best free samples. And Trader Joe's does samples right. They don't give you a little sliver of a cookie, they just open a whole pacakge and let you have your way with it.

Let me preface my review by saying I'm just as much of a "Hey Christmas GTFO It's Not Thanksgiving Yet" person as you are. We need to celebrate one holiday at a time, blah blah blah. But when I was presented with a free Candy Cane Joe Joe at checkout, I forgot about my principles. Oreo cookie with candy cane IN IT! Put it in my mouth!

The peppermint chunks are small but potent. Eating a handful of candy cane Joe Joes is like having Oreos and brushing your teeth at the same time. You're left with a pleasant peppermint aftertaste and cookie crumbs in your gumline.

As I ate that first Candy Cane Joe, I actually heard the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack cue up. I heard sleigh bells, I felt a whisper of snowflakes against my cheek. And later I looked in the mirror and realized I had oreo dust all over my mouth.

Tis the season. Well, almost.

That's Nuts

2011-11-16T14:39:00.003-05:00

Hey there, remember me? I used to write a blog about food. I stopped for a while, because life got in the way, but I'm back. I make no apologies - and anyway my coworker ordered me not to apologize because it sounds kind of presumptious and condescending. I think he's right. But either way, I love writing about food and I'm glad to be doing it again. And if you missed me, even just a little, then that's okay. I missed you too.

I moved into a new apartment. It has a lot of light and industrial loft charm. Left unattended, I will browse Target and Ikea online for hours and squander every last penny of my paycheck on console tables and shelving. To make room for my new furniture buying habit, I'm resolving to spend less on food.

Henceforth I am getting myself back into the blogging spirit by reviewing foods you can buy at Trader Joe's. There you go, something else that you didn't need or ask for being provided to you at no cost on the internet.

Today's Review of a Food You Can Buy at Trader Joe's: Lime and Chile Mixed Nuts

Saturday night I had a couple of friends over for drinks, and when you do something like that you're supposed to provide little snacks too so nobody gets blitzed and vomits on your new bathmat. It just seems like good hostessing to provide food with booze.

How fun, I thought. Spicy nuts. Perfect food for having people over for drinks. Think again, amigos. This stuff is seriously spicy. Like, make you cough and sneeze spicy. Not a sexy party snack.

The heat creeps up on you. After the first handful you think, yes, I'll have another. Then you're hacking and looking around for a tissue box. There's also a lingering pine-sol after taste, and little flecks of what looks like wood shavings.

I'll be picking up the rosemary marcona almonds next time I'm at Joe's and leaving the spicy nuts on the shelf.

Pigging Out: Eli's Pulled Pork Barbecue Sandwich

2011-07-12T10:08:00.004-04:00

Most people reading this blog will already know that I’m now working weekends at Dojo Gelato. If you were coming here for my unbiased ice cream reviews, then you should probably go somewhere else. I am no longer unbiased. Dojo Gelato is the best thing you can put in your mouth.

Working at the Doj' has been challenging in ways I couldn’t have imagined, exciting, rewarding and I get to say I work at Cincinnati’s best and oldest public market. I also get to do a lot more eating and shopping there. I’m conveniently at the market before there’s a line at Blue Oven. I get a vendor discount at most places. As far as fringe benefits go, a job at Findlay Market is pretty sweet if you’re obsessed with food. And lately, I’ve been extra obsessed with the pulled pork sandwich at Eli’s Barbecue.

You can find him under a white tent, outside on the south side of the market building with a chalkboard sign. There’s one sandwich on the menu. You can get away with that if your one sandwich is phenomenal.

Michael isn’t one to dole out praise when it isn’t due. So when he returned from his lunch break and declared he’d had the best pulled pork sandwich of his life, I took him seriously. One of my coworkers ordered the sandwich on her break. Same results. After that whenever either of them talked about the sandwich they got a glassy, far-away look in their eyes.

It was a few weeks before I finally got around to trying it and my expectations were sky high. Eli’s operation is as small as it gets. With one sandwich on the menu, there’s one side offered – coleslaw, cut thick and generous with a creamy dressing.

When you order your sandwich, and I know you will, Eli throws down some pork shoulder on the flat top, sautéing it until it gets these crunchy caramelized bits, like a crust. He uses a pizza cutter to break it up and give it the right texture. The bun is buttered and toasted on the griddle, the pork meets the bun, gets a dose of tangy barbecue sauce and it’s served open-faced with coleslaw on top. Actually that’s optional, but only a fool would ask for the coleslaw on the side. Hand over your five dollars, take napkins and a fork. Bring your sandwich to the Biergarten on the Elm Street side and enjoy with a cold Hudy Amber.

Get this sandwich. GET IT. And stop by Dojo afterwards, I’ll more than likely be slingin' ice cream. Just don’t expect me to be unbiased about our gelato, or Findlay Market, it’s the best place you can be in Cincinnati on a Saturday.

Mix and Shout

2011-06-28T22:56:00.007-04:00

A few days before my birthday I got this ridiculous idea in my head that my parents had gotten me a car. It would have been a timely gift, since I'd recently totalled mine. They'd been dropping hints about my present, saying it was too big to bring to the restaurant and that maybe I could come by the house to get it. My mind jumped from,

"I don't want anything big for my birthday. Just dinner with the family," to "Holy shit, what if they got me a car?"

Then I felt shame wash over me. What is this, my super sweet sixteen? I don't want my parents to buy me a car. I have a 401K, shouldn't I be buying my own cars now?

The big reveal came and turns out, it wasn't a car. It was better. It was a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. A few weeks later I unboxed it, releasing it from its styrofoam shackles to reveal a gleaming stainless steel beauty.

Even the instructions for the KitchenAid Stand Mixer are smug. Over and over again it implies that your new mixer will run laps around your other kitchen appliances. Such gems, unedited from the handbook, include:

"Your KitchenAid Stand Mixer will mix faster and more thoroughly than most other electric Stand Mixers."

And,

"The Stand Mixer may warm up during use. Under heavy loads with extended mixing time periods, you may not be able to comfortably touch the top of the unit. This is normal."

I couldn't decide which recipe to try on its maiden voyage. I didn't want something complicated and liable to fail. What if I cursed my new mixer? I consulted Jeff, who suggested bread, and I agreed that a life-sustaining staple like bread would be a great way to start. Then I disregarded that advice and made Smitten Kitchen's Strawberry Cake.

I'll spare the suspense and let you know that it came out really well. There was an episode of burning cheese in the oven, remnants of a frozen pizza, that sent me throwing windows open through the apartment and re-distributing fans.

And the mixer. To borrow a line from the marketing team behind Stella Artois, "She is a thing of beauty." Smooth, sophisticated, self-assured. It made cake-making quick and easy, which is helpful when you start a cake at 11 PM on a Monday night.

I could go on about it but it's time for me to catch up on Wimbledon matches on the DVR, and I have a slice of strawberry cake to attend to.

Tray Chic: Lunch at Jean Robert’s Table

2011-05-18T11:36:00.008-04:00

The afternoon lunch rush just got a little more chic. Jean Robert’s Table recently began serving a tray lunch Monday through Friday – a $14 meal including a soup, salad, savory dish and dessert. No substitutions allowed and no reservations necessary.

The tray program is promoted as a quicker, more efficient way to have a full meal without overextending your lunch hour. With all four courses served at once you’re free to set your own pace once the tray has arrived. It’s the water slide rather than the lazy river.

Don’t be fooled though, as with any meal at Table, careful prep and excellent ingredients make up each dish. If it’s truly speed that you need, grab a sack of coneys from down the street. But if you have a full lunch hour to spare, a seat at the Table bar is waiting for you.

I stopped in on a work-from-home day this week. I may have been there a little bit late in the lunch time frame, and it was a rainy afternoon, but everyone around me seemed to be lingering rather than rushing back to the office. I probably spent a full hour in the restaurant from the time I took my seat at the bar to my exit back to the cold, drizzly sidewalk. I wasn’t in a hurry.

As promised, four courses arrived at once – a mushroom soup, salmon salad, duck confit and a small square of flourless chocolate cake with a pillow of white chocolate mousse propping up two slivers of strawberry on either side.

What do the French do to potatoes that makes them so much better than potatoes? I have my suspicions.

I started at the soup and worked my way counter-clockwise to dessert. Portions were just right, and my petite dessert was a perfect way to end my meal without sending me careening toward a 3:30 sugar-induced nap. I left completely satisfied and just $14 poorer – for a weekday lunch, it’s a great fine dining option without the fuss.

The Getaway

2011-05-12T09:07:00.000-04:00

I spent Monday afternoon and night at the Inn at Cedar Falls nestled into the heart of Central Ohio's Hocking Hills. It's an adorable, rustic-yet-sophisticated inn and restaurant with a cluster of cottages and cabins. Alex and I spent a night off the grid in said adorable cottage with no internet, TV or cell reception. It was glorious.

A full post is on the way, in which I will describe how I overcame my fear of ticks and tasted some of the best mushrooms I have ever put into my mouth. For now, take a look at my photos from the Inn and the surrounding area. And then maybe turn off your computer, phone, TV, and find a place to kick back for a while. I promise it's not as scary as it sounds.

Shooting Your Food

2011-05-11T07:58:00.010-04:00

Restaurants are pretty much the worst when it comes to photography. Anyone who has pulled out an iPhone at a mood-lit bistro to snap a photo of her dish knows this. Extreme low light and colored light sources can make the most mouth-watering entrée look disgusting in a photo. For examples, please look at any picture I ever took at Bootsy’s.

A big DSLR fares much better in low light, but say goodbye to anonymity when you pull it out in that brand new restaurant. And don’t forget that you’ll have to haul it around through sessions of pre-dinner cocktails and whatever you’re doing after dinner.

It’s a no-win situation.

In recent years though, compact camera makers have attempted to load point-and-shoots with specialized modes for low light situations. Higher end compacts offer bigger sensors with better light-gathering potential, but they also cost about the same as an entry-level DSLR.

Sony’s WX9 attempts to fight the good low-light fight at a reasonable price. I was recently invited to test it out with a group of food bloggers in San Diego over two days of diet-busting indulgence.

We photographed a lot of food that was styled specifically for our needs as eaters and photographers. Therefore, what you see here could be thought of as somewhat a-typical of normal dining circumstances. We had lunch under the open sky on the beach. This is not how I usually photograph food.

But putting that aside, it was really, really fun. The WX9 will make most of your photographic decisions if you want it to, and it generally does a good job at getting things right. You think less about your settings and more about how you want to compose your shot, and then more importantly, how you want to get the food on your plate into your mouth.

We were also turned loose on a farmer’s market in Oceanside. Note that in the image below hot oil had soaked through the napkin and was scorching my hand. I kept still anyway for the photo.

Like most other point-and-shoots, the Cyber-shot WX9 fared very well in the ample sunshine of the farmer’s market. A lot of food bloggers aren’t going to do much editing or tinkering with settings anyway, so it might be ideal for the person who wants to snap a photo and move on to the next one.

We were also provided with plenty of interior lighting during dinner – all twelve courses of it. Chef Chris Ivens-Brown, VP of Culinary Development at Compass Group prepared a beautiful meal for us to capture with our cameras and our forks. It was a delight.

Dinner was served at Sony’s San Diego headquarters in a lovely dining room on a top floor, providing us with the opportunity to use the camera’s Sweep Panorama mode. This is a feature that Sony pioneered and now offers on nearly every Cyber-shot camera. You’ll press the shutter and pan the camera across a horizontal or vertical scene while the WX9 captures a handful of rapid-fire images and then stitches them together to create one panoramic image. It’s intuitive and mindlessly easy to use.

As point-and-shoots go, the WX9 has a lot to offer at a tasty price. For my money, it doesn’t solve the low light problem, but it is a lot of fun to use. And here’s the better news – Sony has provided me with a Cyber-shot DSC-WX9 to give away to a lucky Chickpeas, Please reader! Leave a comment on this post and tell me about what you most like to photograph and you'll be eligible to win. I'll keep the contest open through a week from today - Wednesday May 18, at which point I'll randomly pick a winner. Good luck and good shooting!

Disclosure: Sony paid for my travel to and from San Diego, ground transportation, two nights at the Rancho Bernardo Inn and all of my meals over the course of the trip. The WX9 camera I used was mine to keep when I went home. A review of this camera was published on Digital Camera Review where I'm the site editor – we did not keep that product sample, and we never keep the cameras that we review.

Cirque du Soleil OVO Tapis Rouge: Enough to make you blush

2011-04-21T16:15:00.008-04:00

For a time in high school, I was a huge fan of Cirque du Soleil. Admittedly, that's a weird thing to be a huge fan of, but we all have our weird stuff, right? ...right?

Anyway, during this time, I learned a lot of useless knowledge about Cirque du Soleil. For example, did you know that Cirque is pretty much the NFL of circuses? It's where all jugglers/contortionists/Ukranian children aspire to perform one day. They have 401Ks and dental insurance. It's the big leagues.

Also, there are touring shows, such as OVO. For those a caravan of semi-trucks descends on a vacant parking lot in a major city, assembles the Grand Chapiteau and basically sets up a little Cirque village for the run of the show. There are also permanent shows in theaters across the globe. Vegas has a Cirque show on every quarter mile of the strip.

You can imagine I was excited when my dear friend Darcy Little told us a few months ago that Cirque would be visiting Cincinnati. Not only that, but she was going to be handling PR for this tour stop. She's kind of a badass like that. She was very kind to get me into the OVO preview show last night with Tapis Rouge tickets.

So what is Tapis Rouge? For merely hundreds of dollars you get a premium seat, a sweet parking space, a cocktail hour before the show and desserts during intermission.

The food is a mix of comfortable cocktail party fare (think goat cheese crostini) and more exotic eats, like the edible orchids with chicken salad and - oh yes - sweet and sour chicken on a stick wrapped in cotton candy. This sounds awful. I could have eaten twenty of them.

At intermission Alex and I sprinted back to the Tapis Rouge tent, shouting at all of the friends we saw along the way "Can't talk! Must get cupcakes!" Sorry friends.

If you want to splurge, I highly recommend taking the Tapis Rouge route. Wine and beer is included in the ticket - we brought ours to our seats when it was time for the show. The food is fun and there's more than enough to make a meal. (Vegetarians be warned, your options are slightly limited.) You're guaranteed an awesome seat, though there really isn't a bad one in the place.

Whether or not you go all in on the Tapis Rouge experience, you really shouldn't miss OVO while it's here. It is the NFL of circuses, after all. After two hours of mind-blowing contortion, trapeze-ing, singing, juggling and jumping, you'll be glad you went.

Many thanks to Darcy and Vehr Communications for the tickets! It was a blast.

Yelp Drinks, Cincinnati Edition

2011-04-04T09:40:00.005-04:00

Looking for something to celebrate? It's Cincinnati's first ever bar week, sponsored by Yelp.com! Today through Sunday 21 local bars will be featuring specialty cocktails, wine and beer for half price until 9pm. What does that mean exactly? When happy hour rolls around, stroll into a participating bar such as Neon's Unplugged and get a drink like their featured Elderflower Gimlet for $4. Find all of the bars and drink specials here.

You'll find cocktails and other drinks priced somewhere between 3 and 5 dollars. Here are some highlights:

Drafts for $2.50 at Lackmann
Kentucky Bourbon Ale for $2.50 at Molly Malone's
Old Fashioned for $3.75 at Virgil's

In addition to the special prices available all week, Yelp is hosting an official Happy Hour each night at various participating locations around town. These events are open to anyone and include free appetizers. There's a complete list of those events here, starting with Dilly Deli tonight with its famous beer cheese, provided for free. All of these special Happy Hours run from 7 to 9pm.

Full disclosure, our local Yelp Cincinnati Community Manager happens to be my boyfriend. Not that this is a surprise to anyone reading this blog.

Waste Not, Want Not

2011-04-03T20:49:00.006-04:00

Grandma Johnson, like a lot of other grandparents, lived through the depression. I guess because of this she developed, as anyone might, a reluctance to throw away food. She was sitting at our kitchen table on one of her visits enjoying some baby carrots (our family has a long history with baby carrots) and she dropped one on the floor. She didn’t hesitate, just picked the carrot up – it had rolled onto the living room carpet – and said:

“Waste not, want not,” popping it into her mouth.

Mom pleaded with her to throw it out as she was doing this, arguing that she could actually see cat hairs stuck to the dewy carrot skin, but Grandma Johnson lived by her words. She was an English teacher, after all.

We as a family remember this with mild horror and affection. We still bring it up occasionally when we think of her. “Waste not, want not.”

I’ve talked before about my own struggle to be a frugal yet creative cook. You know that Oatmeal comic about cooking at home? It pretty much sums up my first frustrating experiences going solo in the kitchen. In fact, my dear friend and former roommate Jon just reminded me of the first time I tried to cook chicken and the destruction I caused in our tiny Oxford, Ohio kitchen. We remember it fondly of course, and the photographic evidence lives on in Facebook glory.

I’m trying to evolve into a resourceful home cook with a well-stocked pantry. I want to develop a repertoire of tasty and cost-effective recipes I can fall back on when inspiration fails to strike. I’m not quite there.

I thought of Grandma Johnson and her famous words when I found this mustardy carrot slaw recipe on CHOW. I loaded up a Madison’s shopping basket with about two pounds of carrots (the adult ones) and brought them home to meet my box grater. I figured if I made a few side dishes and tasty spreads at the start of the week, I could work my way through them at lunchtime from Monday to Friday.

Grating two pounds of carrots turned out to be more work than I imagined. I got through it, mixed up the dressing and worked it all together with my bare hands. I didn’t have chives on hand and had to substitute white wine vinegar for red, but the taste is still zingy, sweet and mustardy.

I juiced the orange that I had used for its zest and fished a tiny bottle of bubbly from the back of the refrigerator. Waste not, want not? I can live by that.

Greetings From Sunny San Diego

2011-03-24T19:32:00.004-04:00

Hey there! I'm in San Diego right now as a guest of Sony's Cyber-shot group. I'm lucky to be part of a gathering of food bloggers from around the country. We spent the afternoon in Oceanside at a wonderful farmer's market and then we had a ridiculously indulgent "picnic" lunch at the beach.

Tough afternoon, I know. We've been set loose with Cyber-shot WX9 cameras; check out the sample images below and look for a review soon on, you know, that other website I work on.

I have more eating ahead of me. For now, check out some photos from our afternoon while I go put on my stretchy pants and get ready for dinner.

Be Gratin-ful For What You Have

2011-03-22T16:12:00.005-04:00

When countries are shredded by waves or dictators or bombs, that’s a good time to go to the market and get a bunch of leeks. In the grand scheme, this isn’t outrageous, but it felt kind of thrilling handing over three cash dollars to the folks at Daisy Mae’s and leaving with a heavy, leafy bundle.

My inspiration came from a recent article in the New York Times. It wasn’t the delicious photo that convinced me I needed to make this recipe. It was the description of that moment the author spent rinsing grit from the farmer’s market leeks and how soothing it felt to see the dirt being washed down the drain. That sounded like something I could use.

Very soon after the rinsing comes sautéing in a large amount of butter. The cooked leeks go on top of the potatoes, some heavy cream spiked with nutmeg goes over that and a big handful of shredded Gruyere goes over the whole thing.

I mistakenly used a casserole dish instead of a gratin dish, thinking they were interchangeable. The resulting dish was therefore pretty shallow but still delicious. Because leeks and potatoes do not a meal make, I whipped up Courtney’s wonderful balsamic glazed chicken drumsticks. I recommend that you do the same.

I had been pronouncing this dish as “gra-TAN,” which threw Alex for a loop. In fact he asked me as we sat down to eat,

“Why didn’t you tell me you were making potatoes au gratin?” Opting for the accepted GRA-‘n pronunciation.

After a brief survey of several free online dictionaries, I didn’t come to any conclusion about who was right or wrong about the pronunciation. And does it really matter when you have a cheesy, buttery gratin sitting in front of you? And in the grand scheme, isn’t that really a lot?

Magic Pop: Extreme Rice Cakes

2011-02-09T09:04:00.008-05:00

I was strolling through the Murray’s cheese section at Kroger last night, looking for samples, when I noticed a small crowd gathered near the bakery. They had collected around a contraption about the size of a popcorn machine, with a plexi-glass partition keeping onlookers back.

Every ten seconds or so, the machine would make a loud popping sound and a cracker about the size of a pita was expelled at high speed, hitting the glass and falling into a basket. There was an attendant on hand, feeding the machine, or keeping it from turning loose and eating everyone in the store, I couldn’t tell what.

Getting closer I could see the words “Kim’s Magic Pop,” on a sign above the crowd. Next to it was a platter of cracker samples served alongside a half-eaten container of hummus. I walked a full circle around the Magic Pop, noting a pervasive fake strawberry smell not unlike the stuff they spray on landfills. It reminds you of strawberry but your nose tells you it’s not.

I reached in for a sample, ignoring the hummus. There were two varieties of magic crackers on hand for tasting, a plain looking kind and another with light pink splotches. I took a sliver of the pink stuff. It tasted just about how it smelled, and it lingered in my mouth for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

I did some research at home and read all about the Magic Pop Story. It seems there’s a couple in South Korea who got the idea in their heads to both terrify and delight the people of America by creating a machine that would pressure-cook rice cakes and fling them at high speeds. There’s also a wonderfully Photoshopped image of Magic Pop “HQ” in South Korea.

I also discovered that there are a variety of Magic Pop flavors, including shrimp – shrimp! Magic Pop’s website lists the benefits of its product and insists that the rice cakes are “especially good for little ones and the elderly.” Coincidentally, I can’t think of anyone who would be more frightened by the concept.

What's amazing to me is how the Magic Pop machine turns a bland food into a supermarket spectacle. Is there a less interesting, less enticing food than a rice cake? No. But if you show people how it's made and send that food flying through the air with the speed and ferocity of a hockey puck, people will eat it up. The small crowd watching at Kroger had already loaded their carts with pre-packaged sacks of Magic Pop crackers. Marketing genius.

The best part of my chance encounter with the Magic Pop was when the employee tending to the machine accidentally moved his hand into the line of fire. He saw me standing in front of the basket of samples, my eyes glazed over in awe, and he said “Good evening ma’am.” And then a cracker whizzed out of the machine and hit him in the arm.

Seasame Peanut Noodles After the Big Game

2011-02-08T07:43:00.005-05:00

After a night of glorious, unrestrained indulgence in Super Bowl snacks – including but not limited to Evan’s Manhattan jello shots and his friend’s pork belly sliders – I was in need of something a bit lighter. I made a repentant trip to the gym on Monday and went directly to the grocery store afterward.

I came home with a new jar of peanut butter and a couple of bags of uncooked soba noodles, ready to embrace an easy, nutritionally sound dinner. What does nutrition look like? A glob of peanut butter, of course, pureed in your food processor with some soy sauce, garlic, mirin, red pepper flakes, seasame oil and red wine vinegar.

The recipe is adapted by Ted Allen. You know him from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Now you know he’s a cookbook author. While the noodles cooked I assembled all of the ingredients that I would dress them in for a photo op.

The finished product needs some chopped cucumber on the side, for crunch, and to maintain a semblance of nutritional value. The noodles are so tasty, and vegan at that, how could they be anything but good for you?

I doubt Random House would appreciate if I typed up the recipe and posted it on my blog. Someone else did it though, so either go buy Ted's book or get started making some tasty peanut noodles by checking out the recipe here.

Five Sweet Excuses for a Day Trip to Columbus

2011-02-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

I've been considering - some would say obsessively researching - vacation options. I'm bent on taking one this spring, but in the meantime I'm daydreaming about a day trip to Columbus. If you too are looking for a quick getaway, then call in sick, turn off your Blackberry and head to our friendly neighbor to the north for these sweet indulgences.

1. Jeni's
Step away from your black raspberry chip for a minute and try what Jeni is scooping up. Inventive flavors, high quality ingredients and Snowville Creamery dairy make Jeni's ice cream worth talking about. And you don't even have to leave Cincinnati to get it - Whole Foods in Hyde Park carries it. You don't have to quit your Graeter's habit to give Jeni's a shot.

2. Pistacia Vera
If the pastry case at Pistacia Vera doesn't make you giddy, then you don't have a sweet tooth at all. They're whipping up trendy Macarons, sweets and savories in an adorable German Village storefront. Leave your new year's resolutions at the door.

3. Taste of Belgium
Our own Cincinnati-based Belgian waffle joint has opened a location in Columbus's North Market. Save some gas and get your waffle fix at the Findlay Market location. The authentic Belgian waffles are worth a trip to either location. Watch for their unique seasonal creations like a shrimp and grits waffle around Mardi Gras time.

4. Sugardaddy's
These brownies and blondies are made with seasonal flavors like dark citrus and harvest with apricot and cinnamon. The downtown location is dressed up in pink and brown, but don't be fooled by the cute branding. These are serious treats with a mix of creative and classic flavors.

5. Knead Urban Diner
For some sweet and savory with local flair, head to Knead Urban Diner. I sampled the excellent yogurt parfait and the homemade twinkie when I visited in the AM. Brunch is served on Sundays, and options include an "Egg McJunkin" sandwich with house-cured bacon. The lunch and dinner menus feature locally sourced goods in re-imagined diner favorites.

Tom + Chee serves up winning chili

2011-02-01T10:07:00.002-05:00

Did you miss the Gold Star Chili Cook-off at Findlay Market? You've still got time to sample the winning chili recipe. Tom + Chee will be serving up the blue ribbon "Blackened Voodoo Chili" at its Court St. location. It's a limited engagement, though, and your only chance to scoop it up is today, Tuesday February 1 and tomorrow the 2nd. Find out more at Tom + Chee's Facebook page.

The Voodoo chili recipe was created by James Czar and Mary Beth Weaver, inspired by a recent trip to New Orleans and named in honor of Czar's band, Voodoo Puppet. They were declared "Chili Meisters" as winners of the Gold Star sponsored cook-off.

If you make it to Tom + Chee today for some chili, you can wash it down with some glazed donut bread pudding. Need I say more?

Four Fork Meatloaf

2011-01-31T07:45:00.005-05:00

There are two things Alex will request when I ask him what he wants for dinner – beef tacos with hard shells or meatloaf.

I try and talk him into other kinds of tacos, maybe pork with soft corn tortillas, and he just keeps telling me,

“No, get the taco kit.”

Then I get frustrated and suggest we just go out to eat. This is successful most times, except when he’s been out of town for a week and I cave in to his whims and make something that he wants. If nothing else, it will shut him up for a couple of weeks.

He made his usual plea for meatloaf, and I promised to make it when he returned from his trip to Nashville. Saturday rolled around and he hadn’t forgotten about it. I had no choice but to find a recipe that would satisfy his request and wouldn’t make me ashamed to cook.

I turned to my dearly departed Gourmet magazine, living on by proxy of epicurious.com. One keyword search turned up this recipe, yielding no less than 204 reviews with the highest possible user rating. When a meatloaf recipe gets 21 pages of four fork reviews on epicurious, you take it seriously.

Some of the ingredients came from our favorite big box with the blue logo. The good stuff, like the pork products, came from vendors at Findlay Market like Kroeger and Sons. By the way, nothing relieves the tension of grocery shopping with your significant other like a double scoop Capn’ Crunch and Vietnamese Coffee gelato from Dojo.

Ah, how many relationships could be saved if they’d only turned to gelato.

Sunday night came. I rolled up my sleeves and dug my hands into a big bowl of raw pork product. Sounds inappropriate? It kind of was.

Gourmet’s meatloaf requires soaking of breadcrumbs, chopping and sautéing, food processor-ing and then mixing raw meat and egg with your hands. Then you slap it into a 13 by 9 inch roasting dish, throw it in the oven and clean up the mess in the kitchen for the next hour. Throughout this process, Alex came to the stairs to shout down at me,

“Damn! It smells good in here!”

The meatloaf came out in just about an hour with a browned crust and a lot of rendered fat in the pan. We ignored all that and sliced into the loaf.

I told you, a lot of fat.

This is a meatloaf worthy of four forks. Here’s what it has going for it:

Prunes and bacon ground to a coarse mixture and worked into the rest of the meat, so there’s a sweetness and a smokiness throughout.
Cooked onions and carrots that soaked up a lot of butter in the sautéing process.
All the umami goodness of Worcestershire sauce, however you want to pronounce it.
Tons of salt

It’s hard to go wrong when you’ve got all that going on. It was so enjoyable to eat, this recipe is going in my “saved” bookmark folder. If I was my mom, it would be printed, folded and shoved into a decaying Ziploc bag. It’s a keeper, even if it is meatloaf.

Orange Rosemary Scone Therapy

2011-01-25T08:51:00.007-05:00

I was pulling onto my 275 exit yesterday and from somewhere inside my head came the words "orange rosemary scones."

Probably I saw them on a menu somewhere, or flipping through a cookbook at a bookstore. Maybe it was divine food intervention. I didn't spend a lot of time debating the origins of this idea, I just got to work searching for a recipe once I got to the office.

If you type "orange rosemary scones" into Google, you'll find a wealth of advice and recipes. I bookmarked a Food & Wine recipe, decided to skip the pistachios, and picked up some sprigs of rosemary on my way home from work.

Merely an hour after I got home, I had a warm batch of scones and an apartment filled with the scent of citrus. They're not overly sweet or orangey. They're good warm out of the oven next to a bowl of soup. They go down really nicely next to a mug of spicy hot chocolate.

The recipe also gave me a chance to do one of the best things you can do with orange rinds: run some hot water down the sink and grind them up in the disposal. The sink smells like an orange grove. At least I think it does, I've never been to one.

These scones were not fussy or time-consuming, and the results were nice. The process of making them was even sort of therapeutic in a Ruth Reichl kind of way. Are voices in my head now shouting out recipe ideas for dinner? Maybe this is the first sign of food insanity. I don't care, commit me, just as long as there are oranges and rosemary there.

Tradition

2010-12-29T11:20:00.003-05:00

We were a strictly “real tree” household growing up. A fake tree was never to cross the threshold of our home. We were on Charlie Brown’s side every time Lucy tried to peer pressure him into getting a plastic tree. Of course, getting a real tree was always a miserable ordeal. We would march out to a freezing gravel parking lot and inspect a hundred trees, mystified by the names like “Douglas fir,” and eventually picking one out to be wrapped and strapped to the top of the car. By this point, everyone was unhappy and our nasal passages were frozen shut. Then there was the process of getting the tree into the house, which traditionally entailed a lot of cursing and stomping.

Once the tree was wrestled into a stand and the needles had been vacuumed from the carpet, everyone calmed down and we returned to our jolly holiday selves.

Cookies were another essential tradition in our house. Mom would load the pantry up with peanut butter, sugar and AP flour weeks ahead of schedule and when the time came, baked up a flurry of sugary, fatty delights. No-bakes, peanut butter kisses and snickerdoodles were usually on the roster, with a few variations from year to year.

Last year, Alex and I had been dating for only a few months when the holidays rolled around. We decided to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas all in one evening. Since I was in the overachiever stage at the beginning of a relationship, I agreed to make two kinds of cookies and do the latke frying all at once in his tiny Clifton apartment. I was ready to whip up some no-bakes and a pan of snickerdoodles, but Alex whimpered,

“Can we make cut-out cookies and decorate them?”

Who am I to deprive a Jewish boy of cut-out Christmas cookies? They weren’t traditional in my house, but I didn’t want to let him down, so I nixed the snickerdoodles and found a basic sugar cookie recipe. They turned out pretty well, considering my roommate and I had to beat the dough within an inch of its life to get it to roll out to the right thickness (no rolling pin).

This year, I do have a rolling pin, and Alex and I did the holiday thing all over again. I went back to the same cut-out recipe and we made them on Saturday night. This time, we did the latkes earlier in the month around the first few days of Hanukkah and saved the cookies for another day. And much to Jeff’s dismay, we used store-bought icing to decorate our, well, non-traditional traditional Christmas cookies.

New year, new hours for Fork Heart Knife

2010-12-10T17:03:00.003-05:00

Here's a new year's resolution I can stick to - Wednesday night dinner at Fork Heart Knife. Starting Wednesday, December 29, Fork Heart Knife will be switching up their hours for the new year. The new schedule:

Wednesday & Thursday dinner: 5-10pm
Saturday & Sunday brunch: 10am-2pm (ish)

Of course, you don't have to wait until then to get your hands on some of that delicious grub. Until then, they're still open Thursday and Friday night for dinner and Sunday for brunch. Be aware that they won't be open a few days right around Christmas:

Thursday 12/23/10 closed
Friday 12/24/10 closed
Sunday 12/26/10 closed

Per usual bring your cash (they don't take cards) and bring your wine or beer of choice.

via Fork Heart Knife blog

Mayberry Foodstuffs: Downtown's Corner Grocery Store

2010-12-07T10:12:00.011-05:00

Chef Josh Campbell of Mayberry and World Food Bar fame has opened Mayberry Foodstuffs up to the public. The little store at Seventh and Main is stocked with fresh produce, food staples, home essentials and treats. The official grand opening is later this month. Until then, grab a basket and start shopping. More products are on the way, but I found more than enough in stock to take home for dinner when I visited on Monday and Tuesday.

Here are some things you can expect to find.

Essentials.

More important essentials.

Green things.

Sweet things.

Little surprises.

Hours of operation are 8am-10pm Monday through Friday, 10am-6pm Sunday. They're quickly adding coffee for earlybirds, some deli selections for carryout lunch and - best of all - are on a fast track for a license to sell beer and wine.

Super Easy Coffee Cake for a Snowy Morning

2010-12-04T11:13:00.007-05:00

Like all good Cincinnatians, I rushed to Kroger when I heard there would be significant snowfall on Saturday. We needed the makings for latkes (meaning a store bought latke mix) and I wanted to stock up on milk and eggs. You know, because that's just what you do.

Sure enough, the snow came down the very next morning. It was the first real snow I'd seen since moving to OtR, and there's something ridiculously idyllic about seeing the Italianates and the church across the street all blanketed in heavy, white snow.

It didn't really stick to the streets, so travel by car was fine, but I ignored that and played like I was housebound anyway. Saturday mornings in my house growing up usually meant pancakes or waffles for breakfast, but if we could talk my dad into making it, sometimes we had coffee cake. The kind with a delicious crumbly cinnamon topping. I decided that nothing could complete a snowy morning better than a classic batch of coffee cake. Thanks to my instinctual milk-and-eggs shopping trip, all of the ingredients were on hand.

Start to finish, this took maybe 45 minutes. It gave me plenty of time to write a detailed e-mail to my mom instructing her on which gifts I want most for Christmas and what color trim I want on my teak tan Wm. J. Mills & Co. Montauk Duck Duffel bag.

(Sadly, the gift I want the second most is a sheesham-wood cocktail shaker from West Elm but it's sold out.)

If you find yourself snowed in this winter and you have successfully stocked your pantry beforehand, you could do worse than this simple coffee cake. You could even pretend it's snowing outside and stay in anyway. I won't tell.

(It's a Better Homes and Gardens recipe I found here minus the blueberries and nuts)

ingredients
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg, slightly beaten
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

topping
1/4 cup light brown sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon melted butter

directions
Preheat your oven to 375 and grease a square pan (I used an 8x8x2-incher).

Combine your wet ingredients (oil, egg and milk) in a large bowl. Combine dry ingredients in another bowl, mix them together with a fork and break up clumps in the flour. Add dry ingredients to wet, mix (but don't overmix). Pour it into your greased pan.

In another bowl, mix the topping ingredients (brown sugar, flour, cinnamon and melted butter). Sprinkle mixture over the top of your batter.

Place in preheated oven for about 30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let it cool a bit before you dig in. Enjoy with coffee.

The Little Food Processor That Could

2010-12-02T15:59:00.004-05:00

It’s Alex’s joke that I'm always promising to make something complex and exotic for dinner and when the time comes I just end up making grilled cheese. This has only actually happened on maybe two occasions, but that was enough to turn it into a running gag. So I braced myself for teasing when I told him my plan to make pulled pork had run afoul and grilled cheese was on the menu for the night. He was surprisingly okay with this change of entree.

“Can we have tomato soup too?”

Sold! I spent the rest of the day envisioning different cheese/bread/topping combinations that would elevate a regular grilled cheese into something a little more impressive. Finally I just gave up and googled “Smoked Mozzarella grilled cheese,” because we had some in the refrigerator, and who should appear in my search results but Tyler Florence.

He recommends homemade pesto on a smoked mozzarella grilled cheese. So later in the afternoon, I loaded up my shopping basket with basil, parsley and pine nuts.

Here’s a pretty good recipe for pesto, if you don’t already have one in your repertoire:

2 cups fresh basil
1 cup fresh Italian parsley
1/2 cup Parmigiano Reggiano
1/2 cup pine nuts, toasted
3 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Food processor it all.

I forget how small my food processor is. When I saw it gleaming on the shelf at Target with its fire-engine-red allure, I knew I had to bring it home. I knew it would eventually be too small, but I managed not to think about that. Besides, it’s so cute and red!

I managed to smoosh down the basil and parsley so I could get everything inside. I was fearful that I would end up with parmigiano and basil all over my kitchen. I shouldn’t have doubted. My little red beauty delivered.

Now I’m wondering why I didn’t rush out and buy some basil and pine nuts the first day I brought my food processor home. It’s kind of incredible how easy it is to throw together and how much it improves the taste of a smoked mozzarella grilled cheese sandwich. That's saying a lot, since a grilled cheese sandwich really is one of the world's most perfect foods. Just ask Alex.

Warm Up with Middle West Spirits

2010-11-14T18:26:00.005-05:00

Did you know that a mere hour and a half trip up 71 will take you to an independent, small-batch vodka distillery? Our friendly neighbor to the north Columbus is home to Middle West Spirits, owned and founded by Brady Konya and Ryan Lang.

I had the pleasure of giving their OYO vodka a try this summer on a tour of Columbus, tasting it side-by-side with some Grey Goose. Bringing both vodkas to my nose, I could immediately smell a difference. The OYO had pleasant hints of cherry, and the Grey Goose smelled a lot like nail polish remover.

The OYO goes down much smoother, with lingering hints of said cherry and oak, and of course a zinging burn. The Grey Goose? Decidedly more chemical tasting in comparison.

As if that wasn't enough, Jeni's Ice Cream has collaborated with Middle West, bringing hard liquor and ice cream together in frozen matrimony. The resulting flavor is called Oakvale Young Gouda with OYO Vodka Plumped Cranberries. I have yet to try it, but based on my own research of other Jeni's flavors, I can't imagine it's anything short of delightful.

If warming up to a bottle of locally crafted vodka sounds good to you this winter, check out Middle West. They're open to the public every Wednesday from 5 to 7 pm, and tours can be arranged at other times. They've even got a nifty list of cocktail recipes just waiting to be whipped up on a chilly November night.

Pho Sho

2010-11-02T17:04:00.005-04:00

Public Service Announcement: Pho Lang Thang at Findlay Market is "soft" open for business. Their grand opening is November 14th, but if I were sitting in your seat right now, I wouldn't wait until then to get my hands on some pho or a bahn mi. Just bear in mind that they're tweaking the menu, preparations and service before the day they officially open their doors. Don't go in there guns blazing, ready to mouth off on Yelp if your experience isn't absolutely perfect. Go in peace, go for lunch and go hungry.

I had a bahn mi today with fried tofu. I'm ashamed to admit that this was my first bahn mi ever, but if this is any indication of what I've been missing, I'm going to make them a regular part of my diet. The pickled veggies were sweet and tangy, and the french baguette had a beautiful crunchy crust. There's a sweet/salty thing going on that makes me go weak in the knees. I chased it with a rich Vietnamese iced coffee, drip-brewed right at my table.

Pho Lang Thang has every indication of being a wonderful addition to Cincinnati's food scene. There are things there that make my little food-obsessed heart go pitter patter, like a short glossary of Vietnamese terms at the bottom of the menu, and the bottle of Sriracha at most tables. As if all of that wasn't enough, they're planning to add delivery service in the near future. They're also looking for customer feedback, so if you do go there and you have suggestions, let them know. It's not just the right thing to do, it's the Lang Thang.

House Swarming

2010-10-25T17:08:00.011-04:00

This weekend Alex and I threw a housewarming party to celebrate the good riddance of all moving boxes in our new apartment. If by chance you are reading this and we’re pretty good friends and you didn’t get an invitation, I have no idea why. I’m sorry for being a jerkface.

Obsessing might be a strong word for my method of party planning, but it’s not far off. I started to meticulously consider the menu the second the facebook invitations went out. I knew I wanted a fall-ish theme but nothing too Halloween-y. I knew I wanted to make food that would be easy to eat without any kind of utensil and could fit onto a cocktail napkin.

It started pretty innocently and then escalated into a frenzy of party preparedness. I spotted the perfect cocktail napkins at Target. I made a return trip to actually purchase said napkins when I didn’t see a better alternative anywhere else. I made maple spiced nuts a day ahead of time, Bon Appetit’s Halloween candy bark the morning of, then whipped up Martha’s blue cheese walnut spread and stuffed sweet potato skins just hours until party time. Sounds easy, right?

See the cocktail napkins? Adorable.

Sort of. I’ve learned that I have a knack for complicating simple recipes. That’s made worse by a habit of second-guessing myself and rushing through steps that need more time. The sweet potato skins could have been crisper and less gloopy looking, the blue cheese spread needed more slices of apples and pears for munching, and the pieces of candy on the candy bark didn’t adhere very well.

That said, it all came out relatively okay. I shouted at Alex and the dog a few times during the process and repeatedly banished them both from the kitchen. Everything was in place by party o’clock though, and guests began to file in. My parents were the first to arrive, and they brought a homemade spice cake and a crock pot for a gift – party officially started!

Then things started to unwind into craziness. Maureen brought a moving, flashing skull with a dip that looked like muscle tissue. Laura and David brought macaroons and punch, and when that was gone, another punch was improvised.

Late into the night, we decided to move the party to Lackman. We corralled everyone out the door and, in an effort to keep the dog out of a potential smorgasbord of food on the kitchen counter, we put her upstairs in the bathroom.

Imagine how surprised we were when we came home and the dog greeted us at the front door. Like a little velociraptor, she had figured out how to work the door handle and set herself loose on a buffet of party food. Macaroon wrappers littered the floor. She had pink cheese dip matted in the fur under her chin. The loaves of spice cake were conspicuously missing. Of all our guests that night, she partied the hardest.

We cleaned up as best as a couple of drunk people can at 2AM with help from Meg and Eric. Later, the dog paid for her overindulgence with a night of gastrointestinal distress. So in turn, we paid for it too. But that’s what hosting a party is all about, I guess. I’d like to think that she learned a lesson, but I know that’s not true. She’d steal my lunch just as soon as I turned my back on it. We’re the ones who learned a lesson – jam the door shut with a chair when you leave your dog in the bathroom.

Photos lovingly stolen from Alex. And thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate our new home!

My Kingdom for a Scone

2010-10-17T11:28:00.007-04:00

It’s fall again. Floors are cold when I get out of bed in the morning, jackets are apropos except in the heat of the middle of the day, and most importantly, grocery stores across the city are stocking their shelves with cans of pureed pumpkin. For someone who has admitted to being a raging fall-aholic, someone like yours truly, that means it’s time to binge.

Pumpkin bread. Pumpkin cream cheese. These things have been consumed in my kitchen, maybe at the same time. And now, I’ve introduced a new pumpkin pastry to my repertoire, the pumpkin scone.

On one of our recent textbook fall days, I got it into my head that I need a pumpkin scone from Starbucks. I know, I know. I hung my head in shame as I passed Coffee Emporium, a place with better coffee and wonderful local pastries. I could have enjoyed anything in their pastry case and supported a local business, but my illness took hold and it had to be a pumpkin scone from Starbucks.

It has this layer of icing that your teeth sink into, sweet enough to kind of make your tongue tingle, and then you meet the scone, and if it was just recently thawed out and put into the pastry case it’s pretty moist and tender for a scone. For a fall-aholic, it’s pretty much crack.

So I get all the way down to 4th street, ashamed of myself, and they’re out of pumpkin scones. I could try another Starbucks nearby, but by now I just want a pastry and a seat by the window so I order a piece of pumpkin bread knowing full well it won’t satisfy my craving.

Some time later, I found this recipe. The accompanying images brought back all of those sensations of biting into the pumpkin scone with such intensity, I knew I had to try and make them. I did, and it was my first scone attempt ever.

As I was folding the liquid ingredients into the dry ingredients, doubt began to flash through my mind.

“What if I screw these up? What if I just threw away all that time and effort when I could just go buy a pumpkin scone at Starbucks?”

The batter was crumbly dry, and I fought back my doubt as I tried to mix it into something that resembled a pastry dough, cursing and wiping beads of sweat from my forehead. Alex saw I was stressing out and came over to the kitchen to try and offer some encouragement. I instructed him to get out of the kitchen. There may have been flames. I wasn’t in a mood to be coddled, not yet. (I apologized to him later)

Eventually, I harassed the dough into a rectangular shape, cut some triangles, and popped them into the oven. Thirteen minutes later, something resembling scones came out. They got two layers of icing – one a straight up milk/confectioner’s sugar mix and a second treatment with some cinnamon/nutmeg/ground ginger thrown in.

Are they the pumpkin scones of my dreams? Not exactly, but they’re a damn good substitute. And I didn’t have to set foot in a Starbucks.

Hudy Turns 125, a Personal Pantry Triumph and Special Delivery from La Poste

2010-10-04T18:00:00.007-04:00

Today’s post comes to you in three sections. They’re not really full posts in themselves, so I’m wrapping them up together in a little grab bag of deliciousness.

1. Easy Pumpkin Bread, or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Pantry
I made up my mind Saturday afternoon to make pumpkin bread, knowing full well I had only one meager can of pumpkin and not much else in my pantry. Here’s what I had on hand:

One egg
Lots of light brown sugar
AP flour
About a 1/4 cup of white sugar
A reasonable selection of spices like cinnamon, ginger, allspice etc.
Vegetable oil

So I looked for a recipe that would not require milk, several eggs or too much white sugar. What do you know, I found one on… iVillage? I gave it a shot. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll be down one can of pumpkin? No big deal.

It turned out pretty well! The recipe made a very wet dough, but the bread rose nicely in the oven and made my chilly apartment warm. It also gave me a nice sense of perseverance. I stared down into the depths of my vacuous pantry and I went forth and made pumpkin bread anyway.

I also had some time to consider the power of the spray nozzle. Under normal circumstances, it would take me a solid three minutes to clean out the clinging remnants of a can of pumpkin puree. With the nozzle? Three seconds. I pull it out of its holster by the sink with a whir, point into the can and pull the trigger. I am powerful.

2. Hudy: It’s What’s for Dinner
City Cellars and Hoperatives hosted a great get-together on Thursday night celebrating Hudepohl’s 125^th Anniversary as well as its new Amber lager. Chef Josh Campbell of Mayberry fame was at the grill, serving up wings, flatbread and lamb sliders with a tangy yogurt sauce.

For our $15 tickets, we got three drinks and all the sliders, wings and flatbread we could lay our hands on. What a deal! For an idea of just how good this food was, imagine this scenario: A server brings a platter of hot-off-the-grill flatbread from the crowded patio to a back room and no less than four fully-grown men see what’s happening and follow him to the flatbread’s final destination. The next time Hoperatives, Hudy or Chef Josh throw a party, buy yourself a ticket and you will be well rewarded.

3. Special Delivery: La Poste Preview
There’s a particularly *cool guy that I’ve gotten to know recently who goes by the name Chris Dooley. That’s not a made-up name, that’s his real name. By day, he’s a server at everybody’s favorite hot dog joint, Senate. By night, he’s (going to be) serving at La Poste, the new restaurant in the old Tink’s space. He graciously invited Alex and me to a friends and family preview night this weekend.

We got to try out a couple of dishes, all delivered by servers wearing blue shirts in an upscale nod to postal uniforms. The space, as promised, hasn't changed much. Anyway, I loved it before, so I'm glad it's pretty much the same. There's going to be a serious wine list with selections for every budget. Some bottles exceed $200, but on the other end of the scale they've got some nice options for under $30.

We tried the scallop - okay we tried a lot of scallops. They were easily my favorite. Buttery, melt-in-your-mouth and then a little tang from a - what was it, blue cheese mousse? I should have taken notes. There was some bacon involved too. Anyway, they were excellent.

And guess what? You can get some scallops of your own, because La Poste opens tonight! I'm almost sure that they were fully booked for opening night. Check their Facebook page if you want to secure a reservation, though. Alex and I will be visiting again later this month to celebrate our one year date-i-versary (aww) and to snag some more wine and scallops.

*Alex's note: Chris Dooley isn't as cool as he seems. I mean sure, he's been to the moon. Twice. And yes, he beds super models. And not even modern day super models, ones from the past. Like 1800's super models. I'm not sure how he does it. But that's Chris Dooley. Anyway, to get back to my point, Chris Dooley is a communist. Fact.

The Cook I Am and the Cook I Want To Be

2010-09-29T12:10:00.010-04:00

Monday was one of those days at the office when I stare at the same Word document for thirty minutes and write three lines. Through the blinds I could see it getting darker and damp, which is kind of nice after a string of 90 degree September days, but I started envisioning myself at a coffee shop with a latte and a book, not at my desk making an enormous task out of one article.

Eventually, the article is written and I look up chili recipes before heading to the gym for a half-hearted workout. As I click through them, they seem to be getting more and more elaborate. The title of one recipe:

Beef and Black Bean Chili with Toasted Cumin Crema and Avocado Relish

Whoa. But it calls for a lot of ingredients and a food processor, which I don’t have. Oh, and the pot at home doesn’t have a lid. So that’s another obstacle. I check my bank account – can I buy these things on my way home tonight? No. Better stick with what I have now. My job is challenging and wonderful, but it doesn’t afford me the leisure of buying kitchen appliances all willy nilly. Maybe someday.

I look at, oh, thirty recipes before I finally settle on a Cooking Light Chunky Vegetarian Chili. It’s not fussy, the ingredients are easy, and it doesn’t need to be pureed or lidded.

I’m pretty much a Cooking Light fan, but I felt sort of like I was taking the easy way out. I want to toast cumin! Make crema! Dice avocado! I recently heard a segment on the Splendid Table about a blog called Bon Appetempt, chronicling successes and failures in trying to recreate elaborate magazine recipes. I want to do that! Tonight’s not the night, though, tonight’s the night I pour four cans of rinsed and dried beans into a pot with some dried oregano and call it macaroni. But really I mean chili. You get it.

I start to put the thing together at home and find myself becoming frustrated. Why don’t I have a damn pot with a lid? I was using my roommate’s pot up until a month or so ago, that's why. I should buy one of my own. Why am I always moving and not having all the pots or spices I need? I crack open a new black pepper grinder and the little peppercorns go everywhere. I hear a dozen hit the floor and I only find two.

Then there’s all the can opening, and rinsing, and chopping, and the garlic gets my hands all sticky and my nose starts to run. Isn’t this supposed to be easier? This recipe was designed for mothers will full-time jobs at marketing firms with three kids who all have to go to violin lessons in twenty minutes. Why can’t I make it, without making a mess of my kitchen, in less than an hour?

The pot that had no lid

I dump a Jiffy mix of powdered corn muffins into a bowl, add some milk and an egg, and pour the batter into muffin papers. If I was a real cook, I think, I would make this from scratch. I would have local eggs, not the anonymous Kroger egg I threw into the batter. I would take the extra time to measure out the dry ingredients myself, not rely on Jiffy to do it for me.

My quick-and-easy recipe doesn’t account for the time I spend chasing the peppercorns that sprayed everywhere, or the time spent cleaning up the tomato juice I spilled all over the trash can lid. Why can’t I be the cook I’m always envisioning myself to be?

There’s a quiet voice that speaks up from somewhere in my unconscious, the part of me who would have thought to open the peppercorns over the sink, who says just one word:

“Planning.”

That has to be what I’m missing. If I planned at the start of the week which meals I wanted to make, I wouldn’t have to go to the store after the gym. I wouldn’t find myself without a lid, or a pepper grinder, and I would always have the ingredients for cornbread on hand. I would have cans of beans lining my shelves, just waiting to be turned into chili on any given night. I would have my spices alphabetized so I wouldn’t have to call Alex and make him climb on to a stool and pull the cabinets apart looking for chili powder.

I acknowledge my planning problem, and I’m always telling myself that I’ll start planning better when my life isn’t so busy. (The work trips! The moving! The 100 movies!) But I think it’s time to wake up and admit that my life isn’t going to get less crazy anytime soon. More trips will come up. More projects. And there are at least twenty more movies to go.

And it might help if I give myself a little credit for the things I do accomplish. The chili came together. It was too sweet but definitely edible, and Alex was grateful that I cooked something, anything for dinner. And say what you want about Jiffy cornbread muffins, they’re like golden crack.

There’s the added benefit that the next time I want to make an easy vegetarian chili, I could probably do it without consulting a recipe. I will have a functioning pepper grinder on hand, and several bottles of chili powder (turns out we already had some). And what do you know, I picked up an extra box of Jiffy cornbread and stashed it in the pantry for an emergency. Maybe the cook I want to be won’t ever have to use it, but the cook I am will have one less ingredient to shop for the next time a lousy workday calls for cornbread muffins, pronto.

Good Work in Progress: Sunny Meadows Flower Farm

2010-09-15T23:32:00.008-04:00

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”

A friend posted that quote on twitter recently and it’s been stuck in my head.

Last month I was invited on a great food tour of Columbus hosted by Experience Columbus. I joined a small group of food writers and editors and we visited farms, restaurants, bakeries, cafes, even a vodka distillery. We saw a lot of people who had found their work and had given themselves to making delicious things. I hope to post more about it all soon, because there are some really neat things going on in Columbus.

I’m surprised to hear myself sometimes, in the company of people I’m just meeting, because I talk up Cincinnati like I’m being paid. I’m not sure when that started. I used to complain about the usual things – nothing to do, conservative mindset – and moan about how I wanted to move to Chicago or New York. Within the past year or so, I’ve become kind of a cheerleader for Cincinnati when I’m telling strangers about it.

Anyway, the great things I saw in Columbus got me even more excited to come home to Cincy and support the things happening in my own city, so I want to tell you about some of the best things I saw there.

Our first tour stop was Sunny Meadows Flower Farm. We were told it was owned by a young couple, Gretel and Steve Adams, growing flowers and vegetables on the land surrounding their house just southeast of Columbus’s downtown.

Here’s the really crazy part – I realized once our tour started that I knew Gretel. We had worked together at a dining hall at Miami University (she was a Student Manager and I was a lowly, plain old student employee). We used to dish out mashed potatoes to Freshmen with meal plans. Now, she spends her days working on their farm, selling their goods at farmers’ markets, and making soap by hand.

She’s living that self-sustainable lifestyle that seems exotic and so unattainable to me. I love the idea of growing my own food, but let’s face it, I’m not going to get away from shopping at Kroger any time soon. I guess it’s just not my work, at least right now, but it was wonderful to see someone I knew in college finding her own work.

It’s definitely work, too. Gretel and Steve talked about the difficulties, the frustrations, the fact that they don’t have enough time to spend doing much else. It was obvious spending time with them, though, that they were happy in what they were doing.

If you’re around the Columbus area, chances are you can buy some of Gretel and Steve’s flowers or produce somewhere near you. It’s worth tracking them down at a Farmer’s Market, they’re pretty cool people doing some really excellent work.

Keeping Cool

2010-08-30T22:10:00.008-04:00

August has been filled with work trips to Yellowstone (two of them), watching movies for our AFI project (eight and counting), photographing ATP matches in Mason (two sunburned shoulders) and moving to OtR (just once).

I got to take pictures of places like this – ridiculous!

August has been, to say the least, tiring. When I finally had some down time, I peeked into my backlogged Google Reader and found a few new entries from the Fork Heart Knife blog (if you don’t follow, and you are like me and enjoy reading about tasty food, start following them). One in particular described the need for an oven-off recipe and the creation of a watermelon-feta-red onion salad. Wait. Watermelon, feta and red onions?

photo credit: fork heart knife blog

Feast your eyes on it. It spoke to every one of my desires for dinner later that night. Quick. Salty/sweet. Fresh. Cold. The folks at FHK added some chopped mint and jalapeno. With some toasted pita and Trader Joe’s Raita, it was a cool, light dinner.

Alex approved and we finished up the whole thing even though I’d sort of hoped for leftovers. It was too good not to finish, even though it probably would have improved with a little fridge time to let the flavors mingle. Oh yeah, and a little salt. Can’t remember if that was in the original post or not, but the saltiness of the particular feta I chose wasn’t enough.

I’m heading on my last trip of the month tomorrow. It kind of has to be, since tomorrow’s the last day of the month. I swear when I get back I’m going to take my kitchen and my blog back by storm. Until then, I hope you find something cool and refreshing to eat while we wait out the last hot days of summer.

Bloody Mary Club is in Session

2010-07-27T21:12:00.008-04:00

When the weekend rolls around, I hear the siren call of the Bloody Mary. Trouble is, I can never actually finish one. Everything about a Bloody Mary sounds good – savory munchables on a skewer, infused vodkas – but when it comes down to it, I get halfway through and it’s too much. The consistency gets to me or something, I can’t even describe what happens. My throat starts to close up and the thought of taking another drink induces nausea. Then I hand it off to someone else to finish while I order a beer.

The strange thing is, I kept craving them. I became convinced that I just hadn’t had the right Bloody Mary. My younger sister, endowed with an unequaled passion for Bloody Mary consumption, volunteered to help me on my quest. The Bloody Mary Club was formed and we decided to convene at the Pub at Rookwood Commons.

Ala the Pub’s Mary menu options, we chose our vodka, hot stuff, tomato base, and most importantly, what we wanted on our skewers. You pick up to eight items, limit of two shrimp. It makes your drink a complete meal, so ordering from the lunch menu becomes optional. We added some curry pub chips to cover all of our food groups.

Our Marys arrived, and then a few minutes later the skewers came out once our shrimps were fully cooked. We were each supplied with a beer chaser to cut the spiciness of the Nicholson’s mix.

Like I said, I’m new to Bloody Marys, so I don’t have a lot to compare it against. But the Pub did something right, because I downed the whole thing. I feel empowered, and I may venture so far as to try making one myself. Julie over at wine me, dine me posted a tempting recipe for a Bloody Caesar, a drink that is foreign but delicious-sounding to me. I also keep re-visiting an article I bookmarked on the NY Times about Micheladas. And then there's the temptation to create my own drink and give it a name based on the church across the street from my soon-to-be new home – a Bloody Old Saint Mary. I’ll have to work on that one.

Thank goodness I have a supportive group like the Bloody Mary Club - okay, my sister - to help me out. We're small, but we're open to new members.

Going All In at Fork Heart Knife

2010-06-03T08:37:00.009-04:00

As you might suspect, I’m the kind of person to agonize over what I pick from a restaurant’s menu. I’ll find a menu online ahead of time so I can start agonizing before I ever get inside of the restaurant. If you’re afflicted by the same problem, then I’ve found a solution: go to Fork Heart Knife and order everything. Everything. Done.

Fork Heart Knife inhabits a cozy space on Main street in Over-the-Rhine. Lots of natural light floods in through the windows at the front and long wooden benches line each side of the dining room. They’re not open regularly through the week right now, but the past few weeks they’ve been doing dinner on Thursday and brunch on Sunday. They put their set menu for the night up on butcher paper by the counter.

On the Thursday night Alex and I visited, we sat down with a couple glasses of water to confer about what to order. We decided to split one of each course right down to the strawberry shortcake for a light dinner. First course: a bright, light salad with oranges and goat cheese. Citrusy, springy, and a wonderful starter.

Next came the little empanadas. The crusts were perfect – flakey, tender, all that.

After that our “Portabello Pizza” arrived. It’s a big mushroom cap loaded with pizza toppings. Ours had pesto, some kind of tomato spread, cheese and some roasted vegetables. The cap was juicy and even though the whole thing is pretty small, it is packed with flavor.

We finished everything off with the strawberry shortcake, a buttermilk biscuit topped with cream and strawberries.

There’s something really charming about Fork Heart Knife. They love what they’re doing and that comes across in the food and the décor. We sort of forgot we were at a restaurant because it feels so friendly and intimate. I’m looking forward to seeing what’s in store for this place. And I’m not worried at all about what to pick from their menu next time I go.

Check their blog or twitter to find out when they'll be open. And FHK is BYOB!

Taco Rehab

2010-05-19T20:13:00.012-04:00

I've heard an addiction defined as something that interferes with your day-to-day life. When you have to go out of your way for that extra-hot double tall cappuccino, even if it means being late for the meeting, then you've crossed the line from casual user into addict.

I fessed up to my pumpkin habit last fall, and now I'm ready to admit to my taco addiction. I'm blaming Taqueria Mercado for fueling my illness. It started on Cinco de Mayo, innocently, with a few tacos at the new downtown location. They were simple, flavorful, and I was hooked immediately.

My addiction reared its ugly head later that week when I emailed my Dad around lunchtime, suggesting we hit TM sometime, knowing full well he'd probably be up for it that same day. He was. I dropped everything and drove downtown to get a second hit of tacos.

But the addict's cravings are never really fulfilled, just pacified before they return in force. I found myself browsing cooking blogs and websites for pork taco recipes. I settled on a slow cooker recipe from Food52. The ingredient list is short and the photos are enticing.

And if I'm going to go ahead and make my own pork tacos, why not go all in and make the pickled red onions while I'm at it? I found a pretty straightforward recipe at Chow.com.

The red onions are sliced and blanched then added to an acidic mixture of fresh lime and orange juice, salt, sugar, and jalapeno slices. Done. Onto the pork. On the bottom of the slow cooker I added more orange juice and zest from two oranges. I cut the pork shoulder into chunks as the cat circled the kitchen like a shark, drunk from the smell of raw animal fat.

Next, the pork shoulder got a packet of this seasoning:

It is really, really orange. Pork chunks were browned on the stovetop with a little olive oil and then they got in the slow cooker too. Last, some garlic and chipotle peppers with accompanying adobe sauce went on top. I set the slow cooker on low and spent the rest of the day trying not to think about pork tacos.

Walking into my apartment building after work, I got a little thrill when I realized the good food smell in the hall was coming from MY apartment. I secretly hoped my neighbors were jealous.

When it was at long last taco time, I loaded up double layers of corn tortillas (Alex picked those up for me in exchange for tacos - a fair trade) with the pork, pickled onions and chopped cilantro with a wedge of lime on the side. It looked like a dream. And the taste? Well... it wasn't quite what I'd hoped for.

In hindsight, choosing a very orange-y pork recipe for the orange-marinated red onions may have been orange overkill. In fact, the pork on its own had almost a candy sweetness. That was followed quickly by heat from the chipotles. A LOT of heat. Either too much adobo sauce snuck into the cooker alongside the chipotles, or three chipotles is just too many for my tastebuds. Both recipes are fine on their own, but the combination and the intensity of the flavors didn't quite work.

They weren't the perfectly seasoned tacos I'd imagined in my day dreams. It's only a minor setback, though. Next time I'll try something a little more simple with a little less citrus. What kind of addict would I be if I let this setback derail my hunt for the next taco high?

Vout: What Slims is During the Week

2010-04-28T09:47:00.008-04:00

Food lovers and Northsiders are well acquainted with Slims. The sunny restaurant on Hamilton avenue pulls in a lot of street cred for its fresh ingredients and excellent pork belly.

I'd never eaten at Slims until last night (and technically, I guess I still haven't). The cost of the prix fixe menu was too much for a weeknight meal out, and whenever a special occasion rolled around, for some reason Slims was forgotten. When Slims announced its new Tues-Thurs concept, Vout, I knew I was out of excuses. Vout serves a considerably less expensive ala carte Cuban and Puerto Rican menu. Orders are placed at the counter, water is self-serve, and as always, it's BYOB.

On the Tuesday night that we went, most tables were occupied with an order number and a bottle of wine. The restaurant staff directed us to pick any table we liked and help ourselves to a pitcher of water.

"We'll help you to take care of your own needs."

Sounds good to me. We ordered dinner, sat back with a couple of bottles of beer, and waited. Next to us, a table was celebrating someone's birthday. Light streamed in through the shades covering the front windows. Baskets of fresh produce lined the window sill. The atmosphere was relaxing, and waiting for our food felt like no time at all.

Alex ordered the special, chicken on a biscuit, a rich gooey dish punctuated with green peas and peppery bacon on top. Mine was the vegetarian entree, enchiladas mole, consisting of a large tortilla drowned in a thick smokey-spicy sauce, mushrooms, beans, and topped off with a sweet relish of mangos. We ordered a pair of sides, a corn pudding that we were warned was sweet, and the Fufu, a mixture of smokey potatoes and mashed plantains.

The food was good, but that's not what was amazing to me. I was expecting good food. What was really wonderful was that the whole thing cost less than $20. I'm sure I've spent more than that at a meal at TGI Fridays (I know, I'm cringing at the comparison too). And what took us so long to try out Vout? The more we ate and drank, the more ridiculous it seemed. Why haven't we been here before?

I'll admit that I liked Alex's dinner better than mine. His biscuit was spiked with lemon, making the whole thing ridiculously mouth-watering. My enchilada mole was good, but I wanted a little more sweetness to play off the spice and chocolatey richness of the mole. Extra sauce is offered on the menu for a dollar - I think I'd order more of the black bean and mango salsa next time. Our sides were good, and the corn pudding was as sweet as promised.

I still want to come back on the weekend for the full Slims treatment. My Tuesday night dinner has instilled in me even more faith in Slims. Until then, I plan on returning often for a weeknight meal at Vout.

The Great Midwestern Road Trip and the Maid-Rite

2010-04-22T09:22:00.009-04:00

It was Alton Brown who introduced me to the words "Maid Rite," though was already acquainted with the loose-meat sandwich from my childhood. As I've mentioned many times, I was born in a Great Plains state and brought up eating any number of meals that start with a square of shrink-wrapped ground beef browning in a non-stick pan. The meat cooks, and then you're ready to turn it into tacos, chili, or sloppy joes. On rarer occasions, we would have something that was a close cousin to the sloppy joe - a peppery loose meat sandwich on a bun with the condiments you would put on a burger. Not exactly a Maid-Rite, but close.

I think it goes hand-in-hand living in the Midwest that you inevitably take a long car trip with your family. Long, by definition, is anything over five hours. It had been years since we'd been on one of these trips when we all piled into a rental car over the weekend for a trip to Missouri for a cousin's wedding.

Dad, in an Alton Brown-esque move, took us out of Cincinnati on Highway 50. A more direct route, he assured us, and more colorful route than the interstate. He was right. And what should we find halfway through Illinois? A Maid-Rite, paired up with a Godfather's Pizza no less, Taco-Bell-Pizza-Hut style. Who could dream up these things?

We'd already made a stop for lunch about a couple of hours earlier, but we doubled back anyway and ordered two sandwiches to split among four of us and a round of chocolate malts.

Maid-Rites restaurants, as AB tells it, sprung up across the Midwest after the first store opened in the 1920s. They had kind of a mom-and-pop flair before they became a national chain. The Maid-Rite we found in Lebanon, IL had all the polish and blandness of a newly-remodeled McDonald's. Styled after a 1950s diner, it appeared to be run by bored sixteen-year-olds. One of them dropped off our order at our table.

We cut the sandwiches into four slices and ate, meat falling from all sides of the bun, littering the the table top. It was glorious, even if the "seasoned meat" wasn't seasoned so well, even if it was a little dry. It was a Maid-Rite. It was slathered in mustard, onions and pickle.

With four hours behind us and four more to go, we took what was left of our malts back to the car. Back on to 50, we gradually merged back onto the interstate and hit rush hour in St. Louis before the light outside dimmed and died. It was well past dinner time when we got to Kansas City, but we weren't particularly hungry. We picked at a couple of appetizers in the hotel bar, still thinking longingly of our sandwiches and malts.

On our trip home, we tried unsuccessfully to find another Maid-Rite on our route. I did find out that a Maid-Rite store has opened in the town of my alma mater, Oxford. Somehow, this slipped past my attention. Has anyone tried it?

It's reassuring to know that the next time I crave a road trip and a greasy sandwich, it's just a forty minute drive away.

The Acapulco Margarita: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide

2010-03-25T07:43:00.012-04:00

In the midst of the authentic South American eateries on Route 4, you'll find the thoroughly mediocre, staunchly average Acapulco. They won't be getting any attention for their culinary achievements, so they seem resigned to make their most noteworthy menu feature an alcoholic one - the massive Acapulco Margarita. It's served in a glass that's a kind of half-goldfish bowl on a giant stem. It's filled to the top, salt lining the rim if you so choose. The glasses are so large that two regular sized straws look like oversized drink-stirrers. A wedge of lime on the glass's edge is comically miniaturized.

So how do you go about getting such a great volume of liquid into your belly? Starting off, you'll want to avoid moving the drink if at all possible. This includes picking the glass up to drink from it, so you'll have to use the straw for the first twenty minutes or so. It's not pretty, but you won't wind up with spilled margarita in your lap either.

Once you've taken the liquid down to a manageable level, you may need to do some light stretching before you lift the glass. When you're feeling limber, grasp the bowl with both hands, tilt it toward you ever so slightly, and slurp from the edge of the glass. Hopefully, you'll get a mouthful of salt too. Repeat as often as necessary to finish the margarita.

Now that you're tanked up on tequila and sugar, head downstairs to the Mexican supermarket. Marvel at the pinatas, the fruit juice drinks, the... double fiber bread... If you happen to be a certain bacon blogger, you might even consider a spontaneous chorizo purchase.

You're still too buzzed to get in your car, so head next door to Arcade Legends where you can pay a flat rate of $12 to play all of your childhood arcade favorites like Galaga and Tron. Sweaty thirteen year olds, the hovering aroma of McDonald's french fries - it's like Junior High all over again.

Thankfully, in this version of Junior High you can leave whenever you want. You walk out of the dark arcade $12 poorer, but a champion of video games you never thought you'd finally beat. A winning night, in all, and you didn't even have to go to Mexico to have that much fun.

Mary Queen of Heaven Fish Fry

2010-03-20T09:32:00.008-04:00

I was raised Catholic in various Midwestern suburbs. As a kid, I dutifully gave up drinking soda or chewing gum during Lent every year. I didn't eat meat on Fridays. I didn't think much about it, just that it was something that had to be done and once Easter came around, we were rewarded with chocolate and a long, boring mass. Then we'd forget about it and do it all again next year.

I'm not a practicing Catholic now, I'm not a practicing anything unless Target has a religious sect I could join. Every year during Lent though, I'm reminded of the religion I grew up with as fish frys spring up all over the city.

When I was actually Catholic, I don't think I went to a single fish fry. I guess they weren't as big of a deal in Minnesota, or my family was just content getting a Filet o Fish and calling it a night. Cincinnati, however, has a much deeper, richer, and louder tradition of fish frys than I ever remember encountering as a child.

A couple of weeks into Lent, Alex and I became convinced that we should go to one of these fish frys. But which one? We started off with the most convenient - St. Cecilia in Oakley. Not bad, but not really inspired. And they didn't serve beer. Next week, we agreed, we'd find a better one.

I stumbled across a conversation on Facebook proclaiming Mary Queen of Heaven as having the best fish fry in the area. A quick glance at the menu and I was convinced that we should head to Erlanger for our next fry.

While not exactly a long drive from Cincinnati, I still felt as we headed past the 275 belt that we were going pretty far for some dinner in a Catholic school gymnasium. Why did I drag us out of the city, away from many potentially excellent fish dinners, to go to Mary Queen of Heaven?

I doubted. I was weak. But my faith was restored when we pulled up to the parking lot and a man in a vest with a fishing rod waved us in. Then we saw it - the Codfather. We were in the right place.

We parked, made our way through the entrance and past the girl scouts selling cookies, and got into line. Before long, a man selling cold bottled beer passed by. Not much longer after that, we picked up a tray and selected a dessert before we placed our dinner order.

If Mary Queen of Heaven isn't the best fish fry in Cincinnati, then it has to be the best organized. They take credit cards. Once your order is placed, you're given a number to place on your table. And, of course, they had basketball projected onto a huge screen in the gym. We armed ourselves with condiments, found a table, and right on cue a strapping young Catholic child found us and delivered our food.

Mine: Fish sandwich platter on white. Fries and coleslaw. Flavorful and not greasy. The fish was not at all tough. Pretty much everything I wanted.

Alex's: Shrimp platter. Same deal. Delicious.

The Codfather himself was there, circulating through the room. A kid dressed in a gold fish costume waddled around peering out of a gaping fish mouth. Each volunteer wore a shirt calling theirs the "Best Fish This Side of Heaven." Everyone, at every table, seemed content. We finished our dinners, split a piece of chocolate cake, and headed back toward the parking lot. The line had grown even longer while we'd been eating, but nobody seemed rushed or impatient.

As we headed back out toward the highway, Alex and I waved to the faux fisherman. In a way, it's a nice reminder of what was good about belonging to a church. The people at Mary Queen of Heaven didn't know I was a kind of ex-Catholic with no plans of attending mass again, but they welcomed me anyway with cold bottled beer and fried fish. They treated us with warmth, fed us, and we went on our way. I was always under the impression that that's what church should really be all about. Mary Queen of Heaven does that, and they do it well.

There's one more Friday left on the Lent calendar. If you're looking for a fish fry, I suggest heading down to Erlanger. You'll know you're there when the man with the fishing pole guides you into the parking lot. Religious or not, it's an experience worth driving out of the city for.

Some recommended reading: Liz posted an excellent article last year about her experiences with religion and going to a Cincinnati fish fry for the first time.

Fakeout Coq au Vin

2010-01-27T07:51:00.011-05:00

Tuesdays have become my cooking days. Living in Clifton, it's easy to give in to the temptations of the carry-out order. Indian, sushi, even buffalo wings - they're all just a phone call and a parallel parking spot away. I resisted last night by focusing instead on making Cooking Light's "Quick Coq au Vin." They must be using the French definition of quick, because it took me about an hour from start to finish. Still, that's faster than the real thing. Fakeout Coq au Vin includes these things:

Chicken thighs
Red wine, chicken stock, and tomato paste
Carrots, cremini mushrooms, and thick-cut canadian bacon

The chicken thighs got some flour-salt-dried-thyme treatment in a ziploc back. They're browned on each side in a little olive oil, removed from the pot, and then the veggies and canadian bacon go in. They're sauteed in the little bit of chicken fat and olive oil left in the pan.

On a side note, I happened to have an excellent macro lens at my disposal for the night, so you're getting up close and personal with all of my dinner ingredients. Don't be shy.

After a saute, the red wine, stock, and tomato paste join the veggies in the pot. I cooked it all a little bit longer than CL suggested in the recipe, since it seems like a lot of liquid and I really wanted it to reduce to a thick sauce. And voila, it did. The chicken goes back in for another eight minutes or so, until it's cooked through so you don't die in the night with food poisoning.

Put it together with some grainy bread and you've made yourself a winner winner chicken dinner. Some of the canadian bacon got a little tough in the process, so next time I think I'll ditch the "Light" part and go all in on some good bacon.

There's plenty of room for variation too. Lots of comments on the CL site recommend adding some pearl onions. Several more brilliant people agree that real bacon is a good addition. Overall, a pretty basic recipe, but a really good one for Tuesday "not takeout, fakeout" night at home.

Dollar Sushi at Pad Thai

2009-12-23T08:33:00.005-05:00

Dollar. Sushi. What's that? Sushi can't possibly be a dollar. And who would pay for dollar sushi? Doesn't that imply some kind of "Everything Must Go" sale on old ingredients?

I'm here to tell you that yes, Virginia, there is a dollar sushi night every Sunday and Tuesday. You may know the restaurant. It used to be called Delight Thai Cafe, then they closed for a while and re-opened as Mai Thai. And now, it seems that they've just gone with calling themselves "Pad Thai." It's a fitting name, since they had a reputation for really good Pad Thai. We stuck to sushi, so I don't know if it's still as good as it used to be.

The dollar deal is on nigiri sushi only, which are a large, single piece of fish (or eel or whatever) draped on top of a mound of rice. No fancy sauce, no wasabi mayonnaise, just the real deal. Full sushi rolls are still regularly priced, but supplementing our selection of three rolls with four pieces of nigiri for only a buck each was pretty nice.

The sushi roll call: Philly roll on the left, eel to the front and right, then a "salmon tempura" roll in the back. The roll contained asparagus, crab, maybe even avocado, and salmon of course. The outside was coated lightly with tempura batter and deep-fried, cooking the salmon just slightly and giving the whole thing a satisfying crunch. It was the least traditional roll, but probably our favorite.

The Philadelphia roll was fine, just about the same as anywhere else except that it was pretty light on fish and heavy on cream cheese. The eel roll was completely bland. Our nigiri tasted just like it should - not too fishy, pretty firm. The white fish was a little sweet and buttery. Kaitlin enjoyed the Tamago and Eel.

The best part? They seem to have done away with a once-full bar and now invite customers to BYOB. We brought a bottle of Riesling and the staff happily supplied us with a corkscrew, glasses, and an ice-filled wine cooler at no extra charge.

The verdict? Don't drive all the way to Montgomery just for dollar sushi night. And if you're serious about cheap sushi, the little place up the road called Kyoto is really hard to beat for a good deal. But if you're in the neighborhood and you're looking for something to shake up your usual sushi routine, give Pad Thai a try.

MoMA or Momo?

2009-12-09T18:57:00.005-05:00

My business trips to New York are a mad dash to fit in as much stuff around the business as possible. When I started seeing all the press for the Tim Burton retrospective at the MoMA, I put it on the top of my "to do when not doing business" list for my next trip to the big apple.

Most of my free time fell on a Tuesday. The MoMA, as a general rule, is closed each and every Tuesday of the year. I had a little time on Wedensday, and then a little time turned into half an hour, and I was all the way down on Union Square and Tim Burton was scratched off the list.

Conveniently, I had planned ahead for such an event. I'd noted the location of Momofuku Milk Bar, a place I knew almost nothing about, except that "Momofuku" is some kind of shorthand for good food.

When at a milk bar, order milk. They sell soft serve in a variety of non-traditional flavors including "cereal milk" and the one I settled on, "salted caramel pistachio." For upwards of three dollars, I was handed a tiny dixie cup full of greenish, brownish ice cream and a wooden spoon. How New York.

But oh, how good. It was soft serve, but it was rich and so salty on the tongue. The pistachio and the caramel had a kind of peanut butter taste, except this was a peanut butter I would eat right out of the jar. I walked the long blocks back to my hotel, not bothered by honking taxis or by the vast puddles that a morning of rain left behind. Even in a city as alien and wonderful as New York, good ice cream brings me right back home.

At Lavomatic with CityBeat's Best of Cincinnati Card

2009-12-01T07:27:00.006-05:00

I've been meaning to get to Lavomatic Cafe since, oh, I don't know, a year and a half ago when everyone else went. Thankfully, it's still rocking the Gateway quarter of OTR in late 2009. Alex and I made the trip down Central Parkway for a Friday night dinner.

I took the opportunity to put the CityBeat 'Best of Cincinnati' card to work. It's a program that offers members a 40% discount at a slew of local restaurants. There's a $25 fee to get your own card started, but once you've got one you'll add money to it like a gift card. The 40% discount comes out when you load the card with money. Take a look at all the rules here.

Full disclosure for you, me and the FTC: CityBeat gave me a card with $50 so that I could give it a try. They're offering the card now at a $25 discount (so, for free basically) if you use promo code boc4free when you sign up for one.

Like the great adorkandhispork once said, I don't like calling what I do reviewing a restaurant. There are plenty of people in Cincinnati who do that, and they do it very well. I'll just tell you about my experience and let you decide whether you want to take your dining dollars to Lavo or not.

The dining room is elongated like a train car and stacked with a bar on the first floor and more seating upstairs. The kitchen is partly visible from the doorway, like an invitation to hurry up and get something to eat. We started off with the tater tots: your standard tot, but with bacon, truffle, and a tomato-based puree. Delicious, sort of greasy, and pretty filling.

We moved on to more re-purposed diner favorites. Alex got the meatloaf cupcake and I ordered the grilled cheese. He cleaned his plate if that tells you anything about the quality of the meatloaf cupcake. My grilled cheese came alongside a bowl of thick tomato soup with a generous sprinkling of basil and garlic. Simple and very good.

Our server was fairly attentive, though the wait times for an appetizer plate to be cleared and a glass of wine to arrive were longer than we would have preferred. Full credit to our waiter, though, who had to make mini cardio workout trips up and down the staircase to deliver food and drinks from the first floor.

Take a look at the restaurant list if you're interested in the card. It's not a bad option for a holiday gift, especially if you get in on the $25 off promotion. If one of their partner restaurants is on your usual dining out hit list, then it would be a better value for you.

A couple of facts:

There are no limits on what you can order
Tip isn't included
Can NOT be used on Valentine's Day, Mother's Day or New Year's Eve

No explanation necessary, Lavo rang up our dinner on the CityBeat card without a problem. My card with $50 would have cost me $30 (if we ignore the initial fee). Our dinner with beverages, an appetizer and dessert included came up just over $50. Essentially, we got a $50 meal for $30 (though we still tipped our waiter on that $50). In my book, that's a pretty nice deal.

As for Lavomatic, I couldn't be happier that I finally made it. Though you could easily spend more than $50 on dinner for two there, the options are flexible with many less expensive plates to share over a cocktail or glass of wine. Next time I'm in the Gateway Quarter shopping for a set of trendy kitchen towels, count me in for another meal at Lavomatic.

Tuesday Tarragon Cream Sauce

2009-11-25T07:40:00.016-05:00

I asked myself what to make for dinner on the eve of Thanksgiving eve, and somewhere within my deep unconscious self a voice answered,

"Tarragon Cream Sauce."

I've never made a tarragon cream sauce. I'm not even sure I've had one in a restaurant. I Googled it. A recipe from Real Simple came up, promising to deliver a creamy tarragon sauce fit for a vegetable, chicken or fish dinner in three simple steps. And the first ingredient is a half bottle of wine. Sold.

Chopped onions, tarragon sprigs and said wine went into a pan, up to a boil, and back down to a simmer for 20 minutes. The smell of boiling wine is new to me - not many tarragon cream sauces get made in our kitchen. Something about the wine and herbs bubbling on the stove gave me that reassured feeling of "Yes! I'm cooking! Nothing has gone wrong!"

Step two calls for a cup of heavy cream and more simmering. I like the very hands-off pacing of the recipe. It gave me plenty of time to devote some attention to a block of brie cheese and more of the wine. As the sauce thickened a bit, I put a garden-variety piece of Atlantic salmon on the stove.

Once the sauce was done, I added the rest of the tarragon and some salt. Voila. I brought the sauce and the fish together to get acquainted. They got along fabulously.

On its own, the sauce is slightly bitter (all those onions, all that wine) but finishes creamy-sweet. Coupled with the salmon, it was a really good, really simple Tuesday night meal. And an excellent excuse to pick up a bottle of wine.

Carbohydrate High

2009-11-12T07:48:00.010-05:00

I've decided to start preparing for the Boston Marathon. Not for any personal goals or to achieve some sense of self-fulfillment. I'm going to run a marathon out of necessity, because I've been eating enough carbohydrate-packed foods to power a whole team of distance runners. It started with waffles at Findlay Market. Those waffles. Smothered in berries and whipped cream.

Findlay Market played host to a tweetup that same day, and the friendly people of Daisy Mae sent each attendee home with a free vegetable of our choosing. Alex and I each asked for a sweet potato. What we got was a bulging grocery bag full of them.

I hauled them back home, promising that I'd transform them into something delicious to accompany the pasta dinner we'd planned for Wedensday. Days ticked by and I still wasn't sure what to do with them. First I settled on pie, then casserole. And then, remembering a visit to the Sugar Cupcakery, I broke out the muffin tin and whipped up a starchy, orange-tinted cake batter.

The recipe was snatched from Coconut & Lime which, despite a couple of typos, yielded some nice results. Plus, their photos looked insanely good.

So what's the secret of a great pasta dinner? Let someone else do all the hard work, (in this case, Bouchard's Anything's Pastable at FM) like making the noodles and sauce. We just heated everything up, threw in a vegetable and called it macaroni. Well, spaghetti with alfredo sauce, actually.

Bouchard's put together a tasty pasta dinner. A mix of whole grain and white noodles was a surprisingly nice combo. And my mother would be so proud to see me willfully eating peas. Amazingly, we still had room for dessert.

Full Disclosure: I used canned frosting. Yes, canned. I live in a teeny apartment and have no mixer and no willpower to make frosting by hand.

Does all this carb loading add up to too much of a good nutrient? I don't think so. Let me just go get my running shoes...

Confessions of a Fall-aholic

2009-10-04T09:39:00.014-04:00

My name is Allison, and I’m a fall-aholic.

Hi, Allison.

It started with lattes. The day that Starbucks brought the pumpkin spice latte back, I was traveling. I landed at La Guardia, knew I had precious little time to waste getting to my next gate, so I bolted for the nearest Starbucks kiosk. I threw people out of my way. I pushed old ladies with walkers aside. I kicked puppies. I couldn’t be slowed down until I had a hot, sugary pumpkin latte in my hands.

I quickly moved on to other forms of pumpkin - pumpkin beer, pumpkin ravioli. Pumpkin loaf, pumpkin scones, pumpkin soup. I thought I could give it up any time I wanted. It’s just pumpkin, I told myself. It’s a vegetable. I’m not hurting anyone by gorging on squash.

Soon, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t getting the same rush from my bowl of three squash soup and a cold Dogfish Punkin Ale. So I did what any junkie would do and went right to the source – real, unadulterated pumpkins.

I found Alton Brown’s recipe for pumpkin bread, and it started to sound like a challenge. I can do this, I thought. Forget canned pumpkin, that’s for wimps and soccer moms. I took a knife and a grater to the flesh of a modest pie pumpkin from Kroger.

An hour later, with pumpkin seeds scattered over the table and the floor, my kitchen looked like the scene of a grizzly pumpkin massacre. And what did I have to show for it? A sack full of discarded pumpkin bits and three cups of the shredded good stuff.

A quick toast on a cup of seeds and I was ready to start assembling the dough. As a proud graduate of the Alton Brown School of Not Over-Mixing Your Dough, I was able to manage a loaf pan full of gooey, pumpkiny goodness. Into our finicky gas oven for an hour and fifteen minutes.

The smell of cinnamon wafted from the kitchen, a constant reminder each time I inhaled that there was something delicious in the oven that I couldn’t have yet. Even when the loaf was baked, and a paring knife inserted in the center came out clean, I still couldn’t have a slice of pumpkin bread. Alton insists that it must be cooled all the way – something important happens to the starches, I don’t know.

Wait I did, and when it was finally time to slice into the from-raw-pumpkins pumpkin loaf, it became clear to me what I would do next.

Eat it with Pumpkin Cream Cheese.

Behold the double-pumpkin overload.

If you too are a pumpkin junkie, you can take a look at the recipe here. There’s a nice video too in which, through the magic of television production, AB grates no actual pumpkins. But if you’re foolish like me and you have an afternoon to kill, it’s one hell of a pumpkin fix.

Cupcakes, Candy, and the CAC

2009-10-01T07:34:00.012-04:00

I spent Monday night, the Monday when fall descended on us in a blustery mess, at the Contemporary Art Center checking out two new exhibits. This week the CAC opens a show by Marilyn Minter, photographer, painter, and all-around glam personality.

Walk upstairs to the second floor anytime during her show and you'll be greeted by a massive projected video of a model licking up various colored foodstuffs from a pane of glass. It's set to a moody soundtrack and sends you on your way wandering the rest of the exhibit kind of thinking about eating. That's what I did, anyway.

The colors across the floor reflected from Marilyn's photographs and paintings are sumptuous - candy pinks and jello greens. It's not just pretty though, it's all a little bit sticky and grimy. It's high fashion meets sugar, and the whole thing left me with a pretty serious pastry craving.

Luckily, a few days later Polly Campbell posted a veritable roadmap to the Cincy cupcake scene and I planned a trip to Milford to visit the Sugar Cupcakery.

The bakery case at the Sugar Cupcakery doesn’t squander any space to lesser items like cookies or doughnuts. It’s just cupcakes, in a variety of flavors, regular or mini sized. I quickly reverted to the mindset of a seven-year-old girl. It was the same rush I felt when I went to college and realized I could buy any cereal I wanted. By “any cereal,” I mean, of course, Lucky Charms.

And take into account the mini cupcake – by choosing the smaller cupcake, I suddenly have the latitude to order upwards of three pastries at once and consume them one by one. I threw in a mug of coffee to add as much fuel to the oncoming sugar rush as possible.

The service is beautiful, well thought-out and just plain delightful. As for the cupcakes, they’re pretty good too. Not too sugary, ironically, are the cupcakes at the Sugar Cupcakery. The carrot cake was buttery, and the chocolate chai was addictive. It packs a rich chocolate punch underneath creamy, slightly spiced icing.

It was just a little bit decadent and totally satisfying. There are a baker’s dozen cupcake shops in town, and if you find yourself craving something sweet after a visit to the CAC, I have good news – a cupcake isn’t far away.

Michael Pollan Lecture at Xavier: Better than Donuts

2009-09-27T21:23:00.006-04:00

It's confusing and treacherous territory at the grocery store. Michael Pollan's books and articles have attempted to offer us some guidance in a time of general nutritional chaos, and on Sunday, he offered more advice in a lecture at Xavier's Cintas Center, clocking in just under an hour.

Armed with a Kroger bag of groceries in each hand as he took the stage in a pair of striped sneakers, he laid down some of the same themes he'd explored in his books. The demonizing of certain nutrients while we sanctify others, the link between our healthcare crisis and our diet crisis, and the pitfalls of nutritional science in its current form.

And then he touched on the really scary stuff, like the powerful viruses coming from cattle and hog breeding facilities. And the fact that Froot Loops cereal receives a "check" as a "Smart Choice" food because, as Pollan quotes an unnamed nutritionist, "it's better than donuts."

His lecture reaffirmed my admittedly already solid belief in the guy. He's on our side - the side of the supermarket shopper, the consumer, the eater. His passion is evident, his concern genuine, and his arguments are sound. In the confusion of the supermarket, we need some guidance. And if Michael Pollan is going to help us out, well that's a hell of a lot better than donuts.

Anyone else make it to the lecture? What were your thoughts?

West Coast Coffee in an East Coast City

2009-09-19T11:33:00.014-04:00

I've complained often, in a very nasal-y high-pitched voice, that I don't get to eat well when I'm in New York for business. I visit one of the greatest dining cities in our country and somehow end up with only enough time for an "Old Timer" (that's "hamburger" to those of us who speak plain English) at Chili's in La Guardia's claustrophobic Delta terminal.

My most recent trip started no differently. Stranded outside of my hotel until check-in at three, I set up a make-shift office at a Starbucks on West 31st. I picked up a New York Times, because when else would it be more appropriate to read the New York Times?

It was the Chili's syndrome again. I found myself reading a rave review of Stumptown Coffee Roasters, a recently opened outlet of a Portland-based chain just a few blocks away, while I was sitting in a Starbucks.

I resolved to put a stop to that nonsense. The next day, I marched myself right past Starbucks and found the Ace Hotel that houses Stumptown after circling the block once.

The baristas are outfitted in newsies hats, tattooed and pierced and pouring frothed milk into little wiggly leaf patterns.

Not surprisingly, the NY Times was right on the mark. A plain, no-frills latte from Stumptown was hands-down the best coffee drink I've ever had. Maybe I don't have enough street cred to say that, being a kid from the Midwest who's never set foot in a west coast coffee house. Maybe it's really just an average latte, and it only shines in comparison to the sub-par, over-roasted espresso I've been drinking all my life.

I find that hard to believe. It was just so damn good. A beautifully pitched balance between slightly sweet espresso and perfect frothed milk. Well worth seeking out if you're in Manhattan or Portland. I guarantee you won't find one at La Guardia.

Kroger Mint Butter: A Brief Review

2009-07-20T19:01:00.007-04:00

I've already discussed how much I love free samples. I have very low standards of what I'll eat for free. If it's speared on a toothpick and doesn't appear to be rotting, I'll take one, thank you. Potato chips, day-old hummus, stale sugar cookies, even sushi (doesn't that sound like a recipe for a night in the bathroom?) - I'm pretty much a sample pro at this point.

Dear friends, I'm here to tell you that I may have just encountered the strangest sample of them all, and it was at the sample mecca of greater Cincinnati: Anderson Kroger. It was on my afternoon dinner grocery run that I found myself balancing a cracker in one hand and my camera in the other, face to face with a blob of toothpaste-green goo. Mint butter.

It's not the concept of mint butter I find strange. I'm a big fan of stuff in butter. Ever since I tried a lavender/honey butter at a swank restaurant, I've been singing the praises of stuff in butter. But at Kroger? On a cracker? As a sample?

Yes, please.

There's no trace of actual mint in the butter, as best I could tell. Just an eerie green color that beckoned me away from the hummus sample on the other side of the deli.

Kroger's version of mint butter, priced reasonably at $8.99 "wit' card," is overwhelmingly sweet. And then it's a little minty. Like maybe I'd brushed my teeth an hour ago and just gotten a whiff of spearmint from lingering bits of Crest Whitening with Scope.

With my first bite, I'd tried to make the sample a two-bite ordeal, but the cracker couldn't handle the pressure and exploded all over my shirt. So then I was not only sampling green butter, I was wearing it. Perfect.

I wiped off the crumbs, got my groceries and went on my way, changed.

Thanks a Latte, Brutopia

2009-07-07T15:12:00.004-04:00

Let's face it, the heat is coming and it's here to stay for a while. After I haul my cookies up the street to Brutopia, one of my favorite local coffee shops, I'm not in the mood for a steamy cappuccino. It's iced latte season, and I'm going to tell you something shocking: a good iced latte is made with warm milk.

I know. It seems contradictory, but so is an iced latte when you get right down to it. Here's my scientific-ish explanation. Milk tastes sweeter when it's been heated and frothed. Frothed milk = more delicious. Therefore, an iced latte with frothy milk is more delicious than an iced latte with milk straight out of the refrigerator.

Brutopia, a bright, quirky coffee shop on Ludlow in Clifton, offers up a delicious iced latte. It comes in one size. A shot of your favorite flavored syrup, if you like, goes in first. Then frothed milk over ice. Finally, espresso is drizzled through a cloud-like layer of milk.

I spent the better part of three summers making mediocre iced lattes for a couple of different coffee shops. Brutopia does it right. They do a lot of things right, and I'm taking my good time getting around to trying it all.

The baristas are awesome, but know that with only one person minding the store at a time, they get backed up with drink and food orders pretty easily. When a really good iced latte is on the line though, I'll wait.

Breakfast Times are the Best Times

2009-06-18T07:44:00.007-04:00

I take breakfast very seriously. In fact, I was re-assessing my life the other day when I was trimming my nails, and I realized that breakfast is probably one of my top five life priorities.

When I get up, I need breakfast. It's that simple. This sometimes becomes a problem when I don't wake up in my own apartment. No matter where I am, though, it's the first thing I want in the morning. Staying at a friend's place? I want breakfast. Trapped in a cave? I want breakfast. If I have to go outside, catch it and kill it myself, I will. Usually, this just means finding the nearest Starbucks, which is always pretty easy, like finding the north star.

I like to keep weekday breakfasts simple. My breakfast ground rules are:

It must be un-complicated and easy to assemble
It must be tasty
It must have coffee

Here's a classic recipe I defer to most mornings:

1 piece multigrain toast, blackened
1-ish TBSP Peanut Butter, creamy
1/2 sliced banana

Spread peanut butter on toast. Lay banana slices on top in a checkerboard pattern to ensure that each bite will maintain the proper ratio of sweet/peanut butter/crunchiness. If you're feeling extra dangerous, drizzle a little honey on top.

In fact, there are endless ways to embellish this dish. Whipped cream and nuts? I don't see why not. Sliced strawberries and powdered sugar? Might be kind of weird, but what the hell.

What is your un-complicated, tasty breakfast recipe?

Some Decent Dining Deals

2009-06-04T07:44:00.006-04:00

These are probably well-known by now, but here's the rundown on a few of my favorite dining deals across town:

$1 Burger Night: Bar Louie in Newport
They mean what they say, the burger really is a dollar. It's not very flavorful, and it comes with a thimble-ful of shredded iceberg lettuce on a food service bun, but you can load it up pretty cheaply with good toppings. See also: Blue cheese, bacon and mushrooms. Or pepper jack and guacamole. Most toppings are $.50, so you won't blow your budget pimping out your burger. Draft beer is $2.00 a pint too, so the $3.49 you spend on a basket of fries makes it the most expensive item at the table.

Servers are jumping to keep up with the rush of hungry dollar diners, and we waited about fifteen minutes last night for a table at prime time. It's hard to be impatient though when there's a dollar burger waiting for you.

Half Price Sushi: Dancing Wasabi in Mout Lookout
All day Wednesday and Thursday are half-price sushi days at Dancing Wasabi, one of my favorite sushi spots in the city. And if you're wrapping up a night of drinking at one of Mount Lookout's finer establishments, stop by DW for the same sushi savings on Friday and Saturday night from 10:00 pm into the early morning hours.

The wait for a table on half price night is usually long, and since the restaurant isn't much bigger than a dining car, you'll be out on the sidewalk waiting for your party to be seated. Go on a nice night, grab something from the bar and leer at the diners seated at the outdoor tables.

Awesome Daily Happy Hour: Palamino Downtown
This is definitely not news, but I think $5 pizzas and $3 mojitos are worth a big shout-out. Plenty of appetizers are half price, too. Happy hour prices apply in the lounge, 4-7pm. Get there early and get happy.

What's your favorite dining deal?

Foreign Exchange and the Return of the Lunch Box

2009-05-31T12:50:00.007-04:00

Remember this? It's plastic. There's a thermos inside with a little cup that comes off the top. It's decked out in Little Mermaid or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles artwork, depending on your preference. The lunch box. It had so much right.

Foreign Exchange in Anderson serves up something called a "lunch box" during that special time of day. It's $9.99 of goodness with a variety of options, but no substitutions, please. Choices include several combinations of sushi or spring rolls, salad or miso soup, and a noodle or rice dish.

My lunch box:

California Roll (with imitation crab meat, argh!)
Sashimi (chef's choice)
Salad with ginger dressing
Red Curry with Chicken, spicy level 5

This was nothing like the sandwich-in-ziploc lunchbox meals of my youth. Not even close. Spicy level five turned out to be right at the top of my spicy tolerance scale - burning, but still a good heat. The sushi was forgettable, sashimi was decent, and the salad was pretty tasty. Comparing it to the house salads at Kyoto and Wild Ginger, I'd put this one on top.

The curry was the scene-stealer in the cast. Aside from a few rogue pieces of chicken, it was mostly loaded with peppers and other veggies. Very spicy, very tasty. Then again, I rarely meet a curry that I don't like.

I can't give you a full review of Foreign Exchange. It has an extensive menu for non-lunch hours, with wordy and often perplexing descriptions, and the portion of the ceiling painted to look like the sky is tacky. I like a little bit of tacky here and there, and I definitely liked my lunch box.

Urban Spoon Slot Machine: Gamble for your Dinner

2009-05-28T19:22:00.000-04:00

Here's a form of gambling I can support - the Urban Spoon slot machine. Those with iPhones (or envied friends with iPhones) may already be acquainted with this app. It's also available for those of us who are less cool at the Urban Spoon website, and now it's a nifty little widget! This is as advanced as my HTML skills get, folks:

Cincinnati restaurantsUrbanspoon

Cincinnati restaurants on Urbanspoon

I get a kick out of this thing even when I'm not deciding where to go eat. Is that a sign that I need help? Probably. Oh well, I can quit when I want.

What I Ate at Taste in Pictures

2009-05-26T20:56:00.011-04:00

I spent an hour or so at the Taste of Cincinnati on Monday with adorkandhispork, who helped me overcome my fear of the bus system. I won't waste any more time telling, I'll just start showing:

First priority was the Summer Ale, then the Mythos gyro. Both excellent.

Shanghai Mama's spring roll with mango - suprisingly good. Light, crisp, and sweet.

Curry from Arloi Dee. I passed on the wimpy-looking lettuce wraps. Curry was alright.

Feeling I was reaching my limit, I went for the big knockout - Bella Luna bread pudding. It took me down hard in a custardy, buttery coma for the rest of the afternoon.

Now that we're loaded up on beer and bread pudding, who's ready for a trip down the Fun Slide?

I wasn't. I spent some serious time on my couch in recovery after my afternoon of gluttony.

How I Ate in Chicago

2009-05-20T18:31:00.008-04:00

It was obvious that we weren’t waiting for a city bus. We had luggage. We had scones in little brown bags. We looked unhurried. The conductor, who I’d wished would be wearing a little blue suit and cap, approached our cluster. He informed us that the bus would be late. Some rare, unforeseen calamity had occurred on I-71 and the bus was behind schedule.

I bolted for the nearest Starbucks and downed a muffin on the street corner while groups of travelers made chit-chat with each other. A man with huge, hulking shoulder bag informed anyone within earshot that he had a bicycle in his bag and would be biking to his destination when we reached Chicago.

The golden, morning sunshine evaporated into clouds when we crossed the Indiana border. Secretly, I blamed Indiana and not shifting weather fronts.

A few people left when we stopped in Indianapolis. More got on. I surrendered the second seat in my row to a guy who nearly fell asleep in my lap once we were underway. I gave up on the WiFi connection, which seemed strong enough for Facebook but too sketchy to try and do any work.

Imagine a girl running through the streets of downtown Chicago with a sleeping bag and rolling suitcase. Looks kind of funny, right? Now imagine it’s pouring rain and she has no umbrella or coat. That’s downright ridiculous. When the bus arrived at Union Station and my luggage was unceremoniously dumped on the sidewalk, I was that girl in the rain.

After a soaked, streetside reunion with my college roommate and a dash through town, we headed out for dinner at a Thai place called Jitlada, just around the corner from Jon's apartment.

Pad Thai sounded appealing. “They serve it with sugar on the side.” Jon had warned me. Sure enough, there was a little white pile of crystalline sugar hanging out next to the noodles. Being of the sweet-tooth-persuasion, this factor elevated the dish from merely good to how-fast-can-I-shovel-this-in-my-mouth good.

For dessert, our server brought each of us a chilled bowl with two lychees inside. I’ve decided to demand two cold lychee fruits after every meal, anywhere. I don’t want a chocolate mint, I’ll just take two lychees, please.

We did the thing that reunited college friends do when they get together – we drank all night. In a buzzing neighborhood with the rain finally gone, this is an excellent way to spend the evening. I recommend it.

…And breakfast arrives sooner than you’d like. We took a walk through Wrigleyville with a Cubs game in full swing, dodged red-faced fans and traffic, turned a few corners and came to the Pick Me Up Café. And that’s exactly what it did for us.

Black coffee. A mess of sautéed potatoes, peppers, tofu, and a good drenching with ketchup. It wasn’t elegant, but it was delicious. I expended all those calories doing these things:

Walking through the Lincoln Park Zoo (free!)
Shopping at H&M (not free)
Watching the fountain at Millenium Park (free!)

That kind of productivity will wipe a person out. Homemade nachos and puppy chow (Remember that stuff? Make some. Now.) rounded out my last night in Chicago.

And there I was, back on the street with my suitcase and sleeping bag, waiting again for a late bus. It arrived, stacked two layers high, which gave me a thrill. I raced for a seat on the top, imagining it would feel like flying once we got up to cruising speed on the highway. Turns out, it’s a lot like being on the bottom floor.

We did have time for a stop at McDonald’s, and as we pulled into the bus parking lot, I felt like a seven-year-old on a family car trip. I ate my filet o fish sandwich on the bus, stretching my legs over the empty seat next to me.

The Filet o Fish isn’t good. It barely qualifies as a sandwich, but there’s something about McDonald’s on a road trip that feels right. The light outside completely faded, we were back on the road and just an hour away from home.

Terry's Turf Club as a Religious Experience

2009-05-01T13:15:00.005-04:00

I suggested, no I told my roommate, that we would be going to Terry’s Turf Club. She hadn’t been there yet! The horror! We picked a day. I put a colorful reminder note on the refrigerator.

It would be crowded, we knew this. There was no getting around it. Terry’s on a Thursday night around 8? Good luck. We were ready to wait. The line ahead of us was long, but the weather was mild so we stood on the porch with our beer.

When you step into Terry’s Turf Club, you put your faith in Terry. You have faith that you will get a table, that there will eventually be a burger order with your name on it. Faith, beer and a bowl of peanuts sustained us.

Roomie ordered a burger with blue cheese and portabello mushrooms. I went with the swiss, red wine sauce and grilled onions again. The burgers arrived in their paper-plate glory.

The first stage of the Terry burger is bliss. It’s euphoria. It’s I-can’t-believe-I’m-eating-this-burger. Patience and faith have been rewarded, and it is awesome. The second stage is quiet enjoyment, because bliss never lasts, and the third stage is burnout. There’s only so much delicious burger a single person can handle.

Well into the third stage, we were paying our bill and we noticed the room had turned its attention to the TV behind us. Turning to get a view, we saw Terry and the Turf Club on the local news. We clapped and cheered.

In case you missed the news coverage, Julie broke the news to us yesterday that Terry’s has been proclaimed the best burger in Ohio by the Food Network.

Like bearded guys with myrrh and frankincense, we traveled from afar to find the neon glow of Terry’s Turf Club. Okay, maybe not afar, but we took a 15 minute trip down Columbia Pike. We had faith in Terry’s, we waited a long time, and when our burgers arrived, our reward was great.

Cilantro and the Noodle Man

2009-04-11T13:12:00.006-04:00

Dinner on Wednesday night found me at Cilantro, a tiny Vietnamese restaurant in Clifton serving up big bowls of tasty soup. Will and I ate at the counter, pivoting on our stools and drinking diet coke from styrofoam cups.

We were, as all diners at Cilantro are, eating in the shadow of the Noodle Man. His portrait hangs below a row of lights and above a row of hot sauce bottles. His expression is peaceful, eyes closed, arms spread wide, like he's perpetually waiting for a big, noodle-y hug that never comes.

I considered ordering a stir-fry, but Will nixed that idea. Soup is the only way to go at Cilantro. He may be right. My veggie egg roll was greasy and unremarkable, the kind of egg roll that comes out of a bag of pre-constructed, frozen egg rolls.

Expectations sinking, I dove into my Sate with tofu. A rich, warm broth. Plenty of rice noodles. A nice kick from the lime supplied on the side, crunchy bean sprouts and a nice dose of cilantro, naturally. Was it my lowered expectations that made the soup so heavenly? Or was it the Noodle Man, doing his job, overseeing a tiny, bustling kitchen churning out delicious soups? I'm not sure.

I'll be back, ready for more noodles, and I'll skip the appetizers next time I'm at Cilantro. This could be the start of a wonderful friendship, Noodle Man.

Kanak India, Because Suburbanites Like Saag Paneer Too

2009-03-27T20:22:00.009-04:00

If you like Ambar but the thought of parallel parking in Clifton on a friday night makes you nervous, take comfort- the same fantastic food is now available in Montgomery. Kanak India, sister restaurant to Ambar, is serving up nan and saag paneer in a new Montgomery location. The food is awesome and the parking lot is spacious.

The Kanak India menu, from the beer list to the dinner specials, is identical to the menu you'll find at Ambar. And why mess with a good thing? Ambar has a solid reputation for consistently good Indian food. I expected a good meal at Kanak, and that's what I got.

We started off with vegetable samosas. They were mildly spicy, delicious with the green sauce, and a bit starchier than samosa's I've had elsewhere. We followed the samosas with more potatoes - in the aloo saag - and the chicken shahi korma. The saag, a creamy spinach sauce, was thicker than I remember the saag paneer at Ambar. The flavors were good, but the texture was a little bit different. The chicken shahi korma was buttery, just spicy enough, with cubes of cheese and little bursts of sweetness in the dried fruit. I could drink that sauce with a straw. So good, so everything I wanted it to be. Most entrees are served with rice, and ours was just a little bit fluffier and a little less greasy than the rice I've had at Ambar.

To boil it down, Kanak serves great Indian food. It brings another dining option to those who can't make the trek down to Clifton (though personally, I like the vibe down at Ambar better.) Make a trip to Kanak if you're up north and looking for a good meal. You will be rewarded with kofta and korma aplenty.

Famous Dave's: Barbecue for the Minnesotan in All of Us

2009-03-21T09:56:00.008-04:00

Famous Dave's is sort of the TGI Friday's of barbecue restaurants. Yes, it's a chain. It's got a big flashy website and a line of nationally distributed hot sauces. I'd be a better citizen and human being if I supported some of our excellent local barbecue restaurants instead of Famous Dave's, but I can't help it. It's the Minnesotan in me that keeps me going back to Dave.

Famous Dave's got a start in the upper Midwest and gained popularity around the twin cities, where regular folks like you and me enjoyed decent barbecue at reasonable prices with kind of a northwoodsy vibe. It reminds them of their cabins on lakes up north, where every Minnesotan would rather be at any given moment.

How's the food? Good. Decent. I ordered a barbecue pulled chicken sandwich, which arrived erupting from the sides of the seasame bun, loaded with melting monterey jack cheese. It's tasty food of the comfort persuasion, but not as flavorful as I'd like. Dave's sort of under-sauces their barbecue grub and gives the diner some artistic license with an arsenal of sauces at each table. My sandwich was good, and then better when I doused it in sweet and tangy sauce. I didn't touch the devil's spit.

My sister was happy with her pulled pork sandwich topped with coleslaw. I couldn't convince her to help me eat the bread pudding for dessert, so instead we ordered a Kahlua brownie sundae. She won't eat any dessert that isn't covered in fudge and rediwhip. This infuriates me, but I calmed down when my huge brownie arrived. It was plenty fudgy, warm, and brownie-licious, but it didn't taste like Kahlua at all! A major disappoint for a lush like me. But what do you know - we polished it off anyway.

The short version: Famous Daves has a kitchy, homey appeal. You could do worse if you're dining in the chain restaurant category. Eat there if you're already in the neighborhood and be prepared to sauce up whatever you order. You'll be thankful for the roll of paper towels at each red-checkered table.

Restaurant Week is Back!

2009-03-09T17:36:00.003-04:00

Get ready Cincy foodies, Greater Cincinnati Independents is sponsoring Restaurant Week again, Monday March 16th - Sunday March 22nd. Each of the 26 participating restaurants will offer a three-course, prix-fixe dinner for $26.09. Take a look at their website; most of the restaurants have a menu available already.

Comparing the menus at work today, we couldn't help notice that not all restaurant week offerings are created equal. $26 for a turkey sandwich and some side items at Greenup? Probably won't be on my itinerary. I'll be at the Brown Dog Cafe enjoying some pan-fried duck breast.

So many restaurants, so little time! Are you participating in Recession Week... er, Restaurant Week this time around?

Silver Spring House, the Real Neighborhood Bar and Grill

2009-03-07T22:08:00.011-05:00

There's a time for adventurous dining, and then there's a time for a bottle of domestic beer and a char-grilled chicken sandwich on the patio of the Silver Spring House. It occupies a fuzzy piece of real estate in the northeastern suburbs - is it Symmes Township? Is it Blue Ash? Loveland? I'm not sure. I don't think it matters. It's a neighborhood restaurant, with reliably satisfying food, and a whole lot of chicken on the menu.

When you go to the Silver Spring House, know these things: it's pretty busy most nights after six, and you may have to challenge someone to a battle of wits for a parking space. Know that you won't find many vegetarian options on the menu outside of cheese quesadillas and salads with craisins. Know that sitting inside is family-friendlier, and that the expansive, open-air patio is second to none in good weather.

What's good? Chicken sandwiches, dressed up in their tangy barbecue sauce, or dressed down in some basic seasonings. Wings are crispier than they are greasy, and the house salad with grilled chicken, goat cheese and basil dressing is a personal favorite.

Occasionally, I'll get a piece of chicken that borders on over-cooked, approaching dried out. It's been known to happen. But the Silver Spring House has enough going for it to keep me coming back. Not a bad option at all if you're in the neighborhood, whichever one that is.

When in Vegas, Do as the Vegans Do

2009-03-06T23:11:00.017-05:00

So I work in technology media, and I guess that kind of job lands you in Vegas a few times a year. Not the showgirls, Cirque du Soleil Vegas. Mostly it's hanging around the convention center and the hotel scrounging for free WiFi and bagels.

We tried to fly through Charlotte early last week to get to Vegas on the heels of an Eastern seaboard snowstorm. We didn't get very far. Flight delayed. Exasperated ticket agents. People with mullets who didn't understand what was happening.

When we finally got on an airplane headed for Charlotte, airborn at long last, the pressure began to leak suddenly from the cabin, and our captain announced that he'd be taking us back to Dayton.

Raised Catholic, the first impulse I felt after nausea was guilt. Jesus would smite me now, surely he would. I hadn't been to church in years. I hadn't even filed my taxes yet.
The good news? We landed in Dayton. The bad news? We landed in Dayton. Eventually, we found a plane that would actually take us to our destination.

Arriving in Vegas around 8 PM meant that it was 11 on the east coast and I was a hungry, hungry hippo. Conveniently, the very hotel I checked in to was a mecca of casual dining establishments.

Mexican sounded like a great idea - doesn't it always? Margaritas, tableside guacamole assembly, and a build-it-yourself spread of supreme taco fixings. That's the kind of indulgence I needed after an intense day of air travel.

There were more good meals during my Vegas stay. Caprese salad at some Italian place at the Venetian (not owned by Mario Batali, sadly) - good. Tall pink cocktail - even better.

After a long day working and what was turning into a long night, a walk down Las Vegas Boulevard was disturbing and invigorating all at once, the way Vegas is disturbing and invigorating all at once. Thinly veiled advertisements for prostitution. Drunk midwesterners howling at each other.

But how can you dislike a town lit up like fireworks at 2 AM on a balmy Tuesday night? A warm walk back to an overstuffed hotel bed is a walk I'll take, especially in Vegas.

Cincinnati Imports in the Headlines

2009-02-24T07:52:00.002-05:00

Grab today's Enquirer and check out the local section for a featured story on the Cincy Imports! If you missed it, you can read it on the Enquirer's website. It's a very nice story, and I'm excited to see what this group will be up to next!

Aqua and the Pursuit of Perfect Sushi

2009-02-21T22:58:00.009-05:00

Serious food, hip soundtrack, and unheard of service. Aqua's reputation is well-known by now, but since I'm a relatively new girl to the city, I checked it out for the first time on Saturday night.

Between the attentive staff, the classic Beck tracks on the overhead, and the cosmopolitan decor, Aqua in Mt. Lookout had me at hello. But how did the food stack up? And more importantly, is it worth dropping upwards of $40 a person on dinner there?

I stuck to an appetizer and a couple of sushi rolls for dinner, covering all my food groups with the addition of a Stella Artois. First course, warm napa cabbage salad. It arrived in all it's bacon-y glory as a kind of rich, warm slaw loaded with pear slices and sweet-roasted walnuts. Very tasty, but heavy. For my taste, a little too heavy for an appetizer.

Two sushi rolls followed. Featured on the left, the dynamite roll. On the right, the Mei roll. The dynamite roll was a home run, with a just a kick of spice and a fresh, clean taste. The Mei roll was good, but not a home run. Ground rule double.

The verdict? Good sushi, better atmosphere. I wouldn't put Aqua's sushi above Beluga's, but I will say that this is a restaurant and a kitchen I trust. The moment I put down my chopsticks after my last bite, a server removed my plate, all ninja-like. The whole staff was on point. Though I didn't venture into the entree menu, I feel pretty good about recommending Aqua to anyone looking for a nice night out.

Also, a sushi taste-off may be in the works with liberal foodie, so stay tuned sports fans!

Kar-ma Asian Bistro

2009-02-18T19:23:00.012-05:00

Lao Tzu once said: "A thousand weekday lunches begin at the Kroger salad bar."

Well, maybe not. That's how it feels, anyway. When lunch hour rolls around I usually head to Kroger, get something vegetable-y, and bring it back to the office. Not today. I convinced two of my co-workers, adventurous eaters themselves, to sit down for a real lunch at Kar-ma Asian Bistro. Their menu is a little bit Thai, a little bit Laotian, a little bit rock and roll.

The space is bright, clean, and contemporary. We had a seat and wasted no time in ordering appetizers. What's more decadent than lunchtime appetizers? Mine, pictured above in all its deep-fried glory, was the shrimp roll. They were surprisingly light, kicked up with a little help from the spicy dipping sauce. A nice start.

The main attraction arrived and I dove into my green curry as soon as the waiter delivered some white rice. The eggplant, bamboo shoots, carrots, and basil all come standard in the green curry. I ordered mine with tofu. So rich, it was almost buttery. The tofu was browned nicely on the outside, but still spongy enough to soak up some of that flavor. Tasty curry, and just spicy enough for my (mild) preference.

On the left, orange chicken as ordered by one of my dining partners in crime. He was satisfied with the dish, but pointed out that it's hard to mess up something like orange chicken. True enough.

Kar-ma narrows down the "spicy" equation to a 1-2-3 scale with 3 being the hottest. I was fine at a 2, but those who prefer spicier cuisine will definitely be able to handle a 3.

To round out the meal, the waiter dropped off a hershey's kiss for each of us with our checks. Score! How did they know they could buy a good review by bribing me with candy?

Kidding. But really, I had a very nice meal at Kar-ma. I'd even say it's worth a trip out there if you're a fan of Asian food. I'll be back some lunchtime, someday. Until then, it's back to my spring greens and dressing packets.

Bistro Ginza, Where Sushi is Fancy Again

2009-02-15T20:57:00.007-05:00

Sandwiched between fast food joints in the strip mall wasteland of Deerfield is a neat little restaurant called Bistro Ginza. It's surprisingly high on atmosphere, despite being just steps away from a car wash. The service is great, the miso soup is tasty and the spicy sushi rolls are actually spicy.

We started with spring rolls. Does this presentation remind you of that scene from Beetlejuice? With the cocktail shrimp? Okay, maybe not quite. I liked it anyway, and the rolls were darn tasty.

Next, soup. Not bad, a little skimpy on the tofu. But who cares? Sushi. I ordered the spicy mango roll, and what do you know? It was spicy! It had a real punch along with the mango sweetness. It was good enough to qualify a second trip to try more rolls, that's for sure.

I'm glad I finally tried Bistro Ginza. My only gripe is with the prices. The food is above average, for sure, but prices on special sushi rolls ranged from $13 on up to $19. It would be hard to drive by Kyoto and their bargain-basement sushi prices to get to Bistro Ginza, but with so much more to offer in atmosphere, I'll make the trip back.

Sweet.

2009-02-14T11:29:00.005-05:00

How awesome was Cincy Imports? Pretty awesome, actually. Glad I jumped in and got to meet bloggers and non-bloggers alike. Looking forward to the next event.

Also, my cake decorating skills are improving. So the ribbon is a little funky, but I can live with that. This Monday night is like the final exam, we have to bring in our own cake and put the finishing touches on it at class. I'm nervous.

Enjoy your Valentine's Day, I know I'll be enjoying one of my favorite kinds of food- junk food.

Bootsy's: Funkalicious or Just Funky?

2009-02-07T12:06:00.010-05:00

Bizarre. Funky. Delicious. Bootsy's is all of these things. I visited this mecca of all things Funkadelic last night with two good friends. We passed through the mini-shrine of Bootsy Collins memoribilia into the visually loud and quickly-crowding bar upstairs. A host was quick to have a table cleared for us and we were seated at a booth within a few minutes. Immediate seating at seven at a popular downtown restaurant? That's pretty funky.

So is the decor. It's like a permanent mardi gras upstairs with a little bit of Spanish flair thrown in. All of this I would find bewildering, even off-putting if the food wasn't good. Jeff Ruby is definitely pulling his weight here, because the food isn't upstaged by the surroundings. It's fantastic.

Incidentally, it's also impossible to photograph sitting at a glowing, neon-red table. Oh well. If you can make it out in the picture on the right, that's the braised pork belly. Trendy, trendy. And so good. I've never had pork belly, so I can't really compare, but I can tell you that this stuff melted in my mouth. We stuck to tapas and beer for a nice, round meal, and I'd recommend attacking the menu that way. Our favorites of the night include the pork belly, plantains three ways (pictured on the left), and the ropa vieja.

The prices are pretty recession-friendly too- six tapas and three beers came out around $60. Bootsy's is over-the-top for sure, and it won't appeal to everyone, but I'll be back for more plantains and funkadelic ambiance.

This Weekend in Food

2009-02-01T22:28:00.005-05:00

Twist was still kicking on Friday night, even though it was sickeningly cold out and in spite of the bad news about Pigall's. We had a few rounds of petite bites with a few rounds of drinks. The short and sweet version: the mango drink is delicious and so is the croque monsieur.

Saturday night I tried Thai Cafe on Ludlow for the first time. Don't confuse it with the Delight Thai Cafe in Montgomery, which appears to be closed forever and ever. The Thai Cafe in Clifton is an Asian restaurant dressed up in art-deco duds. I had the Pad Thai with tofu, which is sort of like getting ice cream. Even when it's mediocre, run-of-the-mill ice cream, it's still fantastic. The noodles were cooked just right, but it was all a bit greasier than I would have liked. The Thai Cafe was a cut above mediocre, and I'd recommend it to someone in the neighborhood for a movie or some shopping.

A source that I trust tells me that Ruthai's in Mount Lookout serves up the best Thai food in the city. Agree? Disagree? I haven't tried it myself, but it's on my hit list.

Melt Brunch

2009-01-30T14:49:00.005-05:00

Melt! Frittata on the top, waffle with poached oranged on the bottom.

I couldn't get my sister to keep her fork out of the frame while I took the picture.

Having My Cupcake and Decorating it Too

2009-01-26T13:25:00.008-05:00

Every year Starbucks brings cupcakes back into their pastry lineup. Every year I hate them for it. I hate walking in for a newspaper and a latte and finding myself face to face with a gorgeous red velvet cupcake at 8 in the morning, with dessert so many hours away. "I'll get one later," I think, and then I never do.

I finally got one on Saturday. As described by my friend Monica, who gave me the cupcake, "It's not the best thing ever, but it's still a cupcake." Which about sums up my review of the red velvet cupcakes at Starbucks.

And in other news, during another trip to the aforementioned Starbucks, I dumped half of a 12 ounce latte onto my work computer. Over the keys and everything. I was literally holding my laptop upside down, dumping hot coffee out of it, and cursing wildly. The barista behind the counter was amazing though-- when I told her I'd spilled my drink like a child and made a huge mess, the first thing she asked me was if I wanted another one. I turned it down. Clearly I can't be trusted with beverages.

Anyway, remember my cookie wreck from a few weeks ago? I've started taking a cake decorating class with a couple of my co-workers at Cincinnati Cake and Candy Supply in... Sharonville? Somewhere over there. There wasn't much to show from the first class, but based on my last pastry decorating experience, I can only improve from here.

Cold Boston, Hot Pizza

2009-01-22T15:09:00.003-05:00

If you find yourself in Boston and you fancy a slice of pizza, find the local chain Upper Crust. Behold the razor thin crispy crust.

My slice, front and center, was the slice of the day with proscuitto, basil and banana peppers. Slightly spicy, and spicy is good when it's freezing outside. And a $3.50 lunch on Newbury Street? Heck yeah.

Anyone have a Boston favorite?

Terry's Turf Club

2009-01-17T13:20:00.002-05:00

I finally made it. What can I tell you about Terry and his Turf Club that you haven't already heard? The place is electric. The burgers are out-of-control good. But you know that. Here's what we ordered:

I had the burger with Swiss, red wine sauce, and grilled onions per Terry's recommendation. Messy. Perfect.

My sister got the goat cheese-red pepper sauce, blue cheese, and bacon on hers.

All I have left to say is if you are still waiting, still making excuses not to go to Terry's, you are living a lie. Go. Whatever the price you pay - long wait, crowded dining room, arctic temperatures - is worth one of Terry's burgers.

How do you order your burger at Terry's?

Bittman Knows Best

2009-01-13T07:46:00.002-05:00

NY Times food writer Mark Bittman seems to have tapped into our collective New Year's Resolution to cook more often with fresher ingredients. His article last week featured some tips on revitalizing your cupboard for the new year. Cheers, Mark, and here's to fresh croutons in 2009!

Viva Buffet

2009-01-11T15:59:00.006-05:00

This is where I spent a few days last week. A city bursting at its seams with culinary possibilities. Emeril? Colicchio? Toby Keith? They've all got a restaurant. Time was scarce and there was much scurrying around the city to do for work, so I didn't get to try many of the dining options. I peered jealously into restaurants like Fiamma and Shibuya every time I walked through my hotel. We did have time for a full dinner at Emeril's, and it was indeed bam-worthy. Late into my final night in Vegas I found myself at Wynn for an event with some awesome catered food. Spicy shrimp cocktails, fancy sporks, and the crowning glory-- the dessert table. Nothing makes me happy like an endless supply of desserts and an open bar. Even though I didn't do any real gambling in Vegas, I still came out a winner.

It Takes Two to Dingle

2009-01-05T22:27:00.007-05:00

Dingle House. I can't get over the name of this restaurant. I recently lured one of my friends to dinner there by emphasizing the beauty and intrigue of the name.

"It's called Dingle House. DINGLE."

She couldn't resist. We started with beer, as many dinners at Dingle House start. Especially when they start before 7 PM on weekdays, when select beers are cheaper. I had a Samuel Adams Light, she had a Beamish. Beer course was followed with clam chowder course, which was almost as good. There was kind of a skin on my soup when it arrived from the kitchen, but it was a fine clam chowder.

I followed clam chowder course with the Dingle house salad. I was worried that the maple-balsamic dressing would be candy-sweet, but it was creamier than expected, and delicious. Definitely a nice house salad.

I had a few of the pub wedge fries and I can also endorse them. I like toast nearly burnt, and I liked these crisp, dark fries. Overall, I was happy with the Dingle House. If you find yourself in the remote regions of West Chester during happy hour, visit the Dingle House for some appetizers and an excellent beer. And, of course, some top-notch dingle.

Some Dingle House fun facts, or "you know you're at an Irish pub when...":
-Guiness is listed on the menu as an appetizer
-Diners wearing kilts will receive a free appetizer
-Happy Hour starts at 11 am

Last Night at Kona

2009-01-01T14:06:00.009-05:00

The lease is up and Kona Bistro in Oakley is closed for business. As a Miami student, I frequented Kona's location in Oxford as often as I could scrape together enough cash for an Indian stuffed burrito.

When I heard that the Cincy location was closing, I felt it would only be appropriate to make my last dinner of 2008 my last meal at Oakley Kona. I called. They told me the last dinner would be a buffet-- all the artichoke dip and Jambalaya I could eat for 18 bucks. Sold.

The Indian burrito was on the buffet line. So was the Kona brownie. It was everything I wanted. I guess I'd say that Kona wasn't a superstar on the Cincinnati indepent restaurant scene, but I liked knowing it was there when I needed it. Decent eats, nice atmosphere, and a reasonable price. It was a little piece of Oxford in my backyard.

The last night at Kona was festive. I wasn't sure what to expect-- crying? Gnashing of teeth? Not so, there was holiday cheer and buffet food aplenty. I grabbed my burrito, ordered a cocktail, and settled in to enjoy the last meal at Kona.

Price Hill Chili for the Beginner

2008-12-29T19:23:00.002-05:00

I went to Price Hill Chili in the company of a Price Hill Chili pro. I am not a pro, I'm not a native Cincinnatian, and worse, I live on the east side. But I was eager to discover this institution, and after a couple of wrong turns, I found my destination and a double decker with my name on it.

It's places like Price Hill Chili that make me wish I could eat like a hot dog champion. I don't want to order one thing, what if I pick wrong? My cheese and tomato double decker was fine, everything a cheese and tomato sandwich with cholesterol-free mayo can be, but I saw a parade of better-looking entrees floating by my table. The table next to us received a double cheeseburger stacked like a skyscraper. I wanted to leap out of my booth and snatch it right off their plate.

I didn't resort to stealing anyone else's food, I've just resigned to re-visiting Price Hill Chili until I get it right. Any suggestions?

Cookie Wreck

2008-12-23T12:35:00.005-05:00

I attended a cookie decorating Christmas party over the weekend. Turns out I don't have a hidden talent for pastry decoration. Bummer! I was so hoping to send my resume to Charm City Cakes. Oh well.

I was also introduced to a fantastic blog called Cake Wrecks. It showcases professional cakes that turn out all wrong in very funny ways. Check it out, and happy holiday food decorating to everyone.

French Shrimp Mold and Other Midwestern Delights

2008-12-20T10:42:00.007-05:00

Mom broke out the stash of old holiday recipe books this morning. She was putting together a batch of no-bake cookies, the most wonderful cookie ever created, and I opened up a copy of the Holiday Recipe book courtesy the Iowa Public Service Company, published 1985. I was shocked and amazed. Salads with mayonnaise and mini marshmallows? Peppermint candies with no actual peppermint? Chinese Liver and Vegetables? What do they mean?

I can't stop reading it. Maybe it's more disturbing because I'm reading Omnivore's Dilemna, but there's some seriously scary stuff in here, like "French Shrimp Mold." The word "mold" is in the name of the thing. And there's nothing in the salad section that even remotely resembles a salad. Half of them call for a packet of lemon jello. "Pretzel Salad." "Mystery Salad." It's mind boggling.

There are also helpful tips on using your dishwasher and garbage disposal on the bottom of the page. This book is a gold mine.

Like it or not, these are recipes are stitched into our Midwestern history, the skeletons in our recipe closets. We still whip up a condensed soup casserole every couple of years. We love it. Do you have a casserole in your closet?

In case it sounded tempting, here's the Shrimp Mold recipe, submitted by Mrs. Martie Ech of Moville, Iowa:

French Shrimp Mold

1 can tomato soup
1 (8-oz.) pckg.cream cheese
1 1/2 tsp. Knox gelatin
1/4 cup hot water
1 cup mayonnaise
3/4 cup finely chopped celery
1/4 cup green onion
1 cup shrimp, minced

Warm tomato soup and add cream cheese. Dissolve gelatin in hot water and add to above. Add mayonnaise, celery, onion and shrimp. Pour into mold. Let stand in refrigerator until firm. Serve with crackers.

Wild Ginger Revisited

2008-12-14T00:57:00.009-05:00

Wild Ginger in Hyde Park has a new hibachi grill, full bar, and a bunch of brand new Ikea lamps. At the old Wild Ginger, I waited for my table in the cramped nook by the entrance, usually in a stranger's lap. At the new Wild Ginger, I waited comfortably at the bar with my good friend Sam Adams. It was lovely. Our table was in the new section, and I liked the new decor. Occasionally, flames would leap view from the hibachi, adding a thrill factor to my dinner. I ordered the sunny roll, stuffed with crunchy tempura shrimp, mango, and cucumber. It arrived looking plenty sunny, but it actually tasted a bit bland. My friend ordered some sort of duck stir fry, and his review went something like "Eh." Then again, we don't go to Wild Ginger to be wowed, we go for the atmosphere, the non-Hyde Park prices in Hyde Park, and some pretty decent Asian food.

...And Sushi for All

2008-12-09T22:33:00.003-05:00

A photo from Kyoto in Symmes Township. I met a friend there a few weeks ago so that she could try sushi for the first time. Overall, it was a success. Salmon wasn't a big hit, but that's okay. I think there's a sushi roll out there for everyone.

Meatloaf

2008-12-07T13:15:00.001-05:00

Nothin' says lovin' like lunch at the Echo.

Malt or Milkshake?

2008-11-30T12:41:00.002-05:00

I order a kid's sized chocolate malt at Steak and Shake, my guiltiest guilty pleasure. Nine out of ten times, my fellow diners go, "Malt? What the heck is a malt?"

A malt, I explain, is a milkshake, only better. It's what a milkshake aspires to be, the way certain grapes are destined to become wine. Making a milkshake without adding malted milk powder is like making a cake and saying, "You know, I think I'll leave the frosting off this one."

Ordering a milkshake instead of a malt was strictly forbidden in my family. I thought other kids lived by the same rule, but moving out of the upper Midwest, I've discoverd that this isn't true. I'm trying to understand why this is so. Is it a geographical thing? And what goes on in New England? They have an entirely different vocabulary for milkshakes up there.

So here's what I want to know-- do you prefer malts or milkshakes? And does it have anything to do with where you grew up?

The truth is out there, I'm sure of it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T11:09:00.003-05:00

You're never too old for a hand turkey.

Schnecken

2008-11-22T18:04:00.003-05:00

You know it's going to be a good day when you find this box in the break room...

...and a season of overindulgence begins. Have you had your Schnecken today?

Kroger Fresh Fare

2008-11-18T21:43:00.010-05:00

It's here. Is it worth a trip to Kenwood just to marvel at the new Kroger? Depends on what you want. I was definitely impressed by Murray's Cheese Shop. Lots of unique stuff and helpful staff. I got some Wisconsin Cheddar with blueberries-- where else can you find that? (Okay, maybe Jungle Jims, but that's an entirely different weight class.) Cheese aside, I wanted to know what would make this Kroger any more special and big-boxier than the Kroger in Anderson. There were plenty of similarities-- the tortilleria, the fresh donuts, the dine-in sushi bar. The fresh fare just seemed a little more polished and more food-oriented. I like that. I don't need my grocery store to sell diamond necklaces. Just good food.
Overall, I'd say it's an upscale Kroger with a few more tricks up its sleeve, but nothing to make a special trip across town for. Except maybe the cheese.

Virtual Freestore Foodbank

2008-11-16T16:54:00.002-05:00

The Cincinnati Blog has challenged all local bloggers to offer a link to the Freestore Foodbank's virtual donation program. Yes to change, yes to Cincinnati, and yes to looking out for eachother.

My Compliments to the Chef

2008-11-15T19:40:00.004-05:00

So you’re at Twist on a Saturday night. You order a vanilla cocktail, and it arrives with a rim of cinnamon and actual vanilla bean pieces floating on top. You take a sip and think “Wow, that’s strong!” It’s delicious too, and as you sit enjoying your drink you glance over to the bar and see Chef Jean-Robert de Cavel himself chatting with a member of the wait staff. Do you:

Mind your own business and finish your extraordinarily potent cocktail

-or-

Set down your drink, march across the room, intrude on his conversation and introduce yourself?

Choose wisely, friends.

You shake his hand, say a few words about how much you enjoy his restaurants, and find yourself thinking, “What the hell am I doing?” And then, and this part is key, your mind grapples for some relevant question to ask and you hear yourself asking him if his restaurant group is splitting up.

“Oh, you know, I can’t really talk about that.” He politely sidesteps the question in his thick accent.

Now you are sure that you’ve run out of things to say. You babble something again about how wonderful his food is and scurry back to the comfort of your overstuffed chair and a really, really good drink.

Cheap Restaurant.com Gift Certificates - Good Deal?

2008-11-11T10:06:00.002-05:00

Restaurant.com
has gift certificates to restaurants like Seny, Allure, Beluga and Tinks for way cheap- $10 for a $25 certificate. Most have limitations and minimum food purchases, but it sounds pretty sweet to me anyway. Has anyone ever used this website before? I have no experience with Restaurant.com, but this sounds awfully tempting.

Buffalo Wings, Rings, and Food Poisoning

2008-11-08T15:33:00.003-05:00

When you eat at a restaurant with with a roll of paper towels at every table, you leave some of your standards at the door. I didn't expect to walk away feeling refreshed, energized, and inspired by the rare culinary experience at Buffalo Wings and Rings in Springdale. I wanted fried food, slathered in buttery sauce, and I wanted to eat until I ran out of room, like a hotdog eating champion. And I did. Later, I found out that I was one order of chicken wings away from a night in urgent care.

I won't name my dining cohort, since I'm not sure she wants the details of her gastronomical troubles released to the public. We like wings, and we like eating them in gross excess on occasion. It's the American way. We'd both eaten at Wings and Rings before without especially bad consequences. It seemed like a natural choice after an hour of intense shopping at Tri-County Mall.

It was something in her batch of fried wings, or it was the 25 cent gumball on her way out of the restaurant, but it was something vicious and it took her down hard.

We should have seen it coming. The fly on my unfinished salad was funny at the time, hysterical even, watching its little nozzle mouth sucking on an unwanted onion. What difference could a fly make? I was done with my food. I'll be done with my Buffalo Wings and Rings food for a long time now, come to think of it.

We laughed in the parking lot about our purchases from the quarter vending machines, oblivious to her impending illness. For my quarter, I got a little treasure from a machine advertising "Cuffs and Stuff," which means you have a chance of getting a tiny pair of handcuffs or... stuff. Stuff, as it turned out, was a plastic sea horse charm on a piece of black string.

I'm wearing my sea horse around my wrist as a show of solidarity with those who fall victim to food poising. While my friend spent the rest of her night in misery, I drank rum and cokes with my mom and fell asleep watching Die Hard. It's unfair. I can only recognize her suffering and remember that, but for the grace of my waiter, there am I. That and never ever eat at that Buffalo Wings and Rings again.

Eat Your Veggies

2008-11-05T19:28:00.003-05:00

My fall standby sidedish, roasted root veggies. No frills. Just goodness.

Bento Go-Go

2008-11-01T22:57:00.002-04:00

Yum.

Donna, Cookie Contessa

2008-10-29T21:34:00.004-04:00

Donna Phelps is a Cookie Contessa. It's on her business card. She just opened a store, a little cookie haven called Donna's Gourmet Cookies, on Montgomery road near 275. I drive by every day on my way to work, and this might turn into a serious addiction.

Did you know there are two Donnas that bake in our big-ish city? Donna Ziv bakes muffins, cookies, and other treats under the label Donna's Delights. Awakenings in Hyde Park carries her line of goodies. I like knowing that if I'm ever in need of a homemade pastry, it's never far away. The Donnas have it covered.

Twelve and Under

2008-10-23T21:16:00.003-04:00

I asked for a kid's sized quesadilla at Moe's today, with extra veggies please, and somehow I was signed up for the whole kids meal deal. They didn't even card me.

Alright, I doubt that age was an issue. It's some sort of unspoken rule in chain restaurants that if you're weird enough to order from the kids menu, and you ask nicely, it doesn't matter that you miss the "twelve and under" mark by at least ten years. They give you the kid's quesadilla.

My kid's quesadilla came with:
-a basket of tortilla chips
-salsa and sour cream
-an 18 oz. soda
-an oatmeal raisin cookie (my choice)

This all cost less than five dollars. In an economic crisis, I'm not going to turn my nose up at a deal like that.

I sat at a booth, ate my lunch among real grown-ups eating real quesadillas, glancing between bites at a tv screen airing episodes of Spongebob Squarepants. As long as I can get away with it, I'll take my cartoons and cookies at lunch.